A Clear Case of Anxiety in Motion

How the desire to cross something off the list can lead to bad work

Note: I sent this out as an email the day after my last newsletter, “What’s Up With the Unconscious Mind?”

I was in the middle of finishing up my newsletter for the social network of overthinkers, bevoya.com. Alone and taking care of my 6-year-old daughter, a work issue suddenly popped up. Though I was distracted and I hadn’t completely finished my process of nailing down what I wanted to say in the newsletter, I hit send. I wanted the dopamine hit. I wanted to move on.

People don’t usually unsubscribe from the bevoya newsletter. But after rushing and sending this one out, 2 people unsubscribed pretty quickly. I was upset and disturbed. Not because people had decided what I was creating wasn’t for them. I was upset because I hadn’t given myself the spaceto finish my work and send it when it was ready to go. My anxiety to finish and feel done had pushed me to hit send before I was really ready to. I needed more space.

How does the space work?

I keep pondering this idea of space. The best way I can describe it is: the space to create. Focused relaxation.

If I were to do it over, I would have forced myself to wait to send that newsletter. I would have rewritten it when I had time. I would have achieved the completion of my thought and felt my conclusion click, nailing the ending (a very different feeling than the dopamine-send hit).

Make space for yourselves, friends. That’s the takeaway here. You don’t need to rush everything. Especially the things you are doing to help yourself feel better.

Love, Meredith

p.s. In case you’re curious, you can read the original version of the newsletter and the version I ended up posting here on Medium, after I gave myself some space to connect the pieces of thinking.