A Clear Case of Anxiety in Motion

How the desire to cross something off the list can lead to bad work

Note: I sent this out as an email the day after my last newsletter, “What’s Up With the Unconscious Mind?”

I was in the middle of finishing up my newsletter for the social network of overthinkers, bevoya.com. Alone and taking care of my 6-year-old daughter, a work issue suddenly popped up. Though I was distracted and I hadn’t completely finished my process of nailing down what I wanted to say in the newsletter, I hit send. I wanted the dopamine hit. I wanted to move on.

People don’t usually unsubscribe from the bevoya newsletter. But after rushing and sending this one out, 2 people unsubscribed pretty quickly. I was upset and disturbed. Not because people had decided what I was creating wasn’t for them. I was upset because I hadn’t given myself the spaceto finish my work and send it when it was ready to go. My anxiety to finish and feel done had pushed me to hit send before I was really ready to. I needed more space.

How does the space work?

I keep pondering this idea of space. The best way I can describe it is: the space to create. Focused relaxation.

If I were to do it over, I would have forced myself to wait to send that newsletter. I would have rewritten it when I had time. I would have achieved the completion of my thought and felt my conclusion click, nailing the ending (a very different feeling than the dopamine-send hit).

Make space for yourselves, friends. That’s the takeaway here. You don’t need to rush everything. Especially the things you are doing to help yourself feel better.

Love, Meredith

p.s. In case you’re curious, you can read the original version of the newsletter and the version I ended up posting here on Medium, after I gave myself some space to connect the pieces of thinking.

Will Ferrell May Have Hacked the Rat Maze

I've written about the concept of flow in this newsletter before, but as time passes, I'm realizing that flow is a lot like Anchorman:

“I’m in a glass case of emotion!” — Ron Burgundy

Kind of a big deal.

Here's why. Flow is the north star that helps us through struggle.

Example: A fellow BV is facing a hard time. His relationship is at a breaking point and the startup he's heading is pushing him to his limits. He asked, "What can I do? I feel like I've tried everything possible. I'm confused and hurt."  

It wasn't easy for me to figure out what to say. I don't have all of the answers (far from it). But after sitting quietly for a few long minutes I realized I had learned something useful in my voyaging to date: In the middle of a storm, what you can do is seek out flow.

He asked, "Is this like Csíkszentmihályi's book, Flow?"

Yes. Kind of. I bet that flow means something different to everyone. To me, it simply means thinking and acting without struggle. 

Three Small Flow-Finding Tips:

• Do morning pages.
• If you're struggling at work, take note of what comes easily to you. Do more of that thing.
• If you find yourself saying "what if" or "if only," realize that they are flow killers. Don't chastise yourself for saying them, just put them to the side and return to the seeking of flow.

Flow on friends,

Meredith

---

This post first appeared in the Beautiful Voyager newsletter. Subscribe here.