The Bevoya Two Sentence Solution

In this new series on the Beautiful Voyager, I put a metaphoric hand into this cheesy Grab Bag to share a fast tactic or tip to help with stress management and problem-solving.

It's today's tip!

I started getting headaches as a really little kid. Before I could talk, my mom tells me that I would hold my fist to my forehead and cry. In 2014 and 2015, the headaches were worse than they had ever been: I was getting a headache nearly every day. On preventative medication, I had researched every latest finding so closely that when I visited the UCSF Headache Clinic they told me that there was nothing more they could do for me. As I was leaving, the head physician told me to say hello to the experts I was in touch with for him. At that moment, I knew I had done as much as I could.

I was worn out and confused about how to proceed. My husband stepped in. He said, “OK, now you know that there’s nothing more you can do. So why don’t you figure out something to say to yourself to feel better when the headache comes?”

He was right. I needed something solid and clear. Something that would help ground me. With him, I came up with two sentences that I could repeat to myself whenever I felt migraine pain,

I’m seeking out better treatment for my migraines than I have in my whole life. In the future, there may be new developments in the world of migraine treatment and I look forward to learning about them.

It sounds so simple, but this two-sentence approach worked wonders. It stopped me from spinning out with fears about the future when I got a headache. It was a definitive statement, and I needed that. And I knew that the statement was true.

In the time since then,  I’ve indeed found new ways to treat my migraines that have significantly improved the headache situation, but this two-sentence approach is my grab bag tip for today. It works for lots of thorny issues. It’s a matter of asking yourself: What is true about this situation right now? And what are the limits of what I can do?

Your goal is to give yourself a frame for containment on a topic that likely, for you, feels anything but contained.

The two sentences really work! Give them a try.

How One Designer Gave Herself Superhero Strength

When I first came across Lan Pham’s profile image, it immediately grabbed my attention. Striking and specific, the illustration had me asking the question: Where did this superhero fly in from?

I found out by asking Lan directly on a voice-only app called Anchor. When we talked about her profile image, and I learned that Lan designed it herself in order to feel stronger in a time of need, I wanted to learn more. I sent her the following questions which she answered from her home in Poland.

Me: What was going on in your life when you created your superhero profile image? What made you think of doing it?

Lan: It was sometime at the end of my studies (in art/graphic faculty) a couple of years ago. I had a lot of work ahead of me: finals, projects and my thesis. I’m a total procrastinator so I had so much to do at the end. I was exhausted to the bone, sleep-deprived and kind of hopeless. You could call it an artist’s block.

Like any good procrastinator, instead of working I was browsing the web. In my reading I stumbled upon the studies that analyze how standing like a superhero lowers your level of cortisol, the stress hormone, and increases testosterone which boosts your confidence. Your body language can actually affects you, your brain, your biology, and thus — life.

My work usually is sitting behind a computer. That’s why I express myself with drawings. That’s how I ended up doing a 10 minute sketch of myself late one Sunday night.

Initially I didn’t have the specific idea of boosting my confidence. It basically was just another doodle to help me face another crappy Monday.

Lan notes, ""Poniedzialek" means Monday in Polish :)"

This was a quick drawing I did at first around at 4am at night.

Me: Did the drawing work? Did it make you feel more powerful? Does it continue to?

Lan: It was really just a doodle. But it’d say it worked! Not exactly the way I imagined it would have. But I put that picture up as my Facebook profile picture the same night. In the morning I received some really flattering, reassuring, and motivational comments.

This little silly sketch of myself made me laugh at myself. It cheered me up! Also it was the first thing in weeks that I created out of some non-commital inspiration. It wasn’t an obligation and that’s what made me feel less cranky and more like myself. It somehow lifted my artist block and boosted my confidence too.

After that I finished some of my projects without as much suffering as before. Then I redrew the sketch into the clean, flat-styled version I’ve been using as my profile image (as pictured under the title of this post). It somehow became my branding. Strangers started to recognize me from it :)

It’s always a great pleasure to put up my superhero pose.

It gives me a boost. It works every time! I think: “You go down, but then you go up again. It’s the best feeling.”

I have a couple of ideas for my Super-Alter-Ego-Hero shots that mirror my life. In those, I’d essentially create a series of illustrations. Kind of like a story or Adventure of SuperLan.

This illustration makes me more creative, reminds me to face things head on rather than hide from them, therefore, yes, it makes me powerful. It’s like a butterfly effect I think!

Me: Would you recommend that other people use this approach if they are feeling like they need to channel a feeling of power in their lives? Do you ever do illustrations for people?

Lan: Yes, I do illustrations for people! I’ve yet to start doing illustrations fully commercially but for a long time I’ve been illustrating my friends and family as a birthday gifts etc. Too bad I haven’t gotten around to collecting all of the works and finally updating my portfolio!

Anyway, I think the best approach is “just” this: draw/write/record/create everything and anything that comes to your mind. Don’t keep it in your head, get it out anyway you can. Not only it is cathartic and therapeutic but it’s our great power to create things.

When I create, I feel as confident and powerful as I can ever be.

I feel like conquering the world.

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Designer and illustrator Lan Pham lives in Poland. To follow her on your social platform of choice, select from the array found here on her site. To contact her about getting your own superhero, email her at lan [at] cloudsmaker.com.

Do You Feel Weird on Social Media Holidays?

Social media holidays can be strange. Today, for example, everyone’s talking about being or having a mother.

Everything gets a little flattened out, especially for people who aren’t sure how to represent complex relationships online.

There are those who have lost a mother recently.

Women trying to become mothers.

Or men who grew up without a mom.

How can everyone feel seen within the constraints of the online space?

I think it’s a matter of going back to compassion and gratitude.

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Here’s a hug for everyone from the mother we all share.

“Try not to compare because you’re exactly as you should be” — Mother Nature.

Happy Mother's Day, Fellow BV's!

These untraditional Mother's Day cards are brought to you by writer Abby Norman. Click to see them all. 

I think of this as the "let's fix our DNA on an epigenetic level" card.

This one hurts!

See them all on Medium.

Are You a Red Dot or a Blue Dot?

Many years ago, I had a friend who worked for the writer Marcelle Clements. She noticed that Marcelle had red and blue round stickers in her address book next to people's names. What did they mean? Why, when I learned what it meant, did the metaphor stay with me for over twenty years?  

it turns out that the writer had learned to put a red dot by everyone who brought energy into her life, and a blue dot next to everyone who sucked energy away from her.

The heart is a giant red dot, by the way.

I used this thinking myself — looking at the people around me through red dot or blue dot eyes. I found it super helpful, too. When I met my future husband, I realized he was a giant red dot. I even knit him a red dot scarf. It was a red dot act to enthusiastically make such an ugly scarf.

Zone Out While Watching A Master Danish Potter

The Instagram looks amazing, too.

Apparently INSIDER, whose videos are suddenly everywhere, is a new Facebook-only sub-brand of Business Insider. So far, I like what I see. I could watch this video, of a man named Eric Landon who has been throwing pottery since he was 16, for hours.

A Very Homespun Non-Infographic about Overthinking Social Media

I had a conversation with Daniel Gehant of Copper Insights about how hard it can be to find your way on the voice-only app we both love, Anchor. I described my usual social media cycle: "START--------It hurts! It's embarrassing! OUCH------What am I saying?! I don't like this?! No one likes me!?!--------good feedback, slowly putting ourselves out there----I think I'm getting stronger-------I feel better, and I'm taking risks--------OUCH, backstep-------Nope, I'm definitely taking more risks and feeling better-----------END."

He said, "That would make a nice infographic."

Since I'm not a designer (how many ways can I say that?), my version of an infographic looks like Keynote:

Overthinking Social Media, A Non-Infographic.

I'm sharing it despite its homespun qualities because that's the whole point! Less fear, more exploring. Keep posting, fellow Beautiful Voyagers.

Which Bowie Song Are You Today?

Big Hint about my choice. 

When I feel weird or unclear or disconnected, I go back to the basics.

Bowie is my basics.

This morning, in the middle of asking myself too many big questions, I stopped and refocused on the basics.

I asked Anchor: Which Bowie song are you today? The songs that began pouring in (and are continuing to), made me so happy. (But of course they did.)

I’m ready to get to work.

[Note: As you listen, you’ll hear people’s usernames and then a little burbling sound in between every song. That’s how it’s supposed to work.]

Contributors

• CW Daly of Coral Springs, Florida
• Clay of ?
• Tosh Polak of Amsterdam, The Netherlands
• Laura Moscatello of Anchorage, Alaska
• Neil of Sheffield, England
• Poker Man of ?
• Sylvia of The Netherlands
• Ross Cahill of somewhere in Ireland