What I Learned About Navigating the Mental Health System

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In my long and unavoidable experience with mental illnesses, I at first felt hopeful. Who wouldn’t, when you're told you have numerous doctors at your disposal for help? My family and I had been exhausted by my violent and drastic mood swings. The entanglement of delusions and psychosis had long ago become too much to bear. I was entrusted to a mental hospital in Brattleboro, Vermont at age fifteen. This would be the first of many unsuccessful psychiatric hospital stays. I was roomed with another girl who had behavioral issues because of the lack of attention her parents were giving her, she explained to me as her lashing out. During the day we would attend groups together and fill out self-help workbooks, all of which barely scratched the surface for me.

 What bothered me most was how they herded us into rooms from one doctor to the next, all giving us new diagnosis and prognosis of a new medication plan that would save the day. Oh, how I wish I had as much hope for success that the doctors did.  They gave promises of improvement and made me feel like they could fix me (they all do) yet they all fail to succeed. And in the end, it’s me who fails. Leaving myself constantly wondering. Am I broken? Is there no one and nothing out there that can make the pain go away? Something to make my brain just go along and participate in “everyday normal life”, may I walk with the rest of them, blending in with normalcy.

I have been through a series of around thirty medications, plenty of therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists’ doctors, drug infusions, and even electric shock. I have really been around the bend and back when it came to “treatment” for my illness, spanning from age fifteen to my current thirty-six. Every time it was always a battle. If not, because of lack of help, then it was the financial aspect of treating mental illness. With insurance I was still forking out monthly $210 in prescriptions (which was nothing compared to the thousands it cost without) $80 in co-pays for med management, and $280 in co-pays for weekly therapy.  As for other treatments such as neurofeedback, EMDR and Ketamine infusions, they aren’t covered or even take insurance (I have yet to find one) so all of that is out of pocket.

The most recent were the Ketamine infusions, which cost around $500 a session. I remember my first infusion where the nurse came in and inserted the needle and hooked me up to an IV of fluids. Then she stepped out of the room, and as 5 or so minutes go by, I still felt no effects from the medication. So, when the nurse came back, I told her “Um, I’m sorry, but I don’t think this is working, I don’t feel any different or better” the nurse just giggled to herself and said “Well honey I wouldn’t expect you to, that is just saline, I didn’t inject the Ketamine yet” I just laughed and apologized for being an idiot. But when the infusion did start it was almost beautiful, a picture of my life laid out before me, with all the ways of getting what I needed and wanted in life. I saw my children playing and laughing. It was a great experience, but it isn’t for everyone. I even had a bad reaction one episode and starting yelling at the doctor, because I was insisting that he was trying to kill me. His wife had to come into the room and hug me until I calmed down.  So, I suppose it could go either way. I still feel it did help me get further down the path to wellness, but I don’t think it is a long-term solution.

I begin looking further into more advanced rehabs, but research has shown me that I couldn’t find one mental rehabilitation center that accepted Medicaid or Medicare in the US. The only ones I could find that took my insurance was a drug and alcohol rehab, that also treated secondary mental health issues. This is a problem. Why is it not important? Why are our brains, these concepts, so hard for people to grasp? It is a scary, long, hard, and insane up and down plunge through total darkness and we shouldn’t have to do it alone.

Don’t get me wrong, I think these facilities treating addictions are important. I just don’t understand why mental health is seemingly less important. Considering that the National Institute of Health states around half of the people who experience mental illness in their lives will also suffer a substance abuse disorder at some point, dots need to be connected here. Maybe there isn’t enough available medication to subside these symptoms people are enduring and they end up turning to other substances. I know I did.

Now I’m pushing forty and have a lifetime of pain and turbulence to navigate through still. But I do believe there is a sliver of hope, and for people that suffer from severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar, etc…sometimes that is all we need. Yes, it is debilitating, playing trial and error with your mental health, new meds, therapies, doctors, hoping to find what will work well for you. But that’s what you must keep doing. Not give up and hold onto that sliver of hope. Find that treatment that works, so you may be able to provide insight to someone else who suffers.

We must keep picking ourselves up. If we all stand up and request more help, more guidance, more treatment centers will open and hopefully they will become more affordable. According to the National Institute of Mental Illness, one in five US Americans suffer from some form of mental illness. In 2019, this was 51.5 million people. Don’t you think the world should provide more help to them? More access to resources, treatment, therapy, and medications? Knowledge is power, and we need to teach the world that there is more to mental illness, we need more help, fight the stigma.

About the Author

Ashley Cote was born and raised in the small town of Westminster, Vermont alongside her two brothers and two sisters. She is the oldest of her mother’s children and middle child of her father’s. After getting married young she had her first daughter in the state of Massachusetts where they lived. Ashley had her second daughter six years later while residing in Florida where she went to school to be a certified nursing assistant.

After discovering nursing wasn’t for her, Ashley and her family moved to North Carolina to be in the mountains, where she currently resides while attending school as a biology major.

Am I Going Through a Nervous Breakdown?

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A nervous breakdown can happen to anyone, including someone who seems to have a high level of emotional resilience. People have different physiological and biological makeup, some are naturally able to cope with heavy or extreme stress, while others are easily overwhelmed. It does not mean you are weak, it only tells how much the brain can take. Life stressors and challenges can eventually take their toll. When they do, even those who are considered highly resilient may experience a nervous breakdown.

What Does It Mean to Have a Nervous Breakdown?

A nervous breakdown, also called mental breakdown, refers to the inability to perform functions of daily life due to intense psychological distress. In a wider context, the term also means the inability to cope with life’s challenges.

In the past, mental health experts used many terms such as depression, anxiety, and acute stress disorder to refer to a nervous breakdown. The term is no longer used because it has not been recognized as a mental health disorder by the American Psychiatry Association in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5). But due to its symptoms, it has gained more and more recognition and acceptance in the medical community. 

Symptoms of a Nervous Breakdown

Various physical, psychological, and behavioral symptoms are present when someone is dealing with a breakdown. Your symptoms may be mild to severe and differ from someone else's depending on the underlying cause of the breakdown. Etiology may include mental health disorders such as anxiety disorder, depression, or schizophrenia. And you might or might not experience all of the symptoms listed below:

• Depressive symptoms, such as hopelessness or helplessness.

• Frequent thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

• Sudden angry outbursts or extreme mood swings.

• Insomnia (trouble falling or staying asleep).

• Sleep disturbances.

• Anxiety, panic attacks, or shakiness.

• Feeling physically unwell.

• Unexplained or general aches and pains.

• Difficulty thinking, focusing, remembering, or making decisions.

• Psychosis, e.g., paranoia, hallucinations, or delusions.

• Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks of a traumatic event are similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

People experiencing a nervous breakdown may show symptoms that are similar to clinical depression. They may neglect their hygiene, health, or sleep or eat poorly. They may engage in certain avoidance behaviors like:

• Withdrawing from family, friends, and co-workers

• Isolating themselves or hiding "away from the world"

• Avoiding family time or social functions or engagements

• Avoiding work or school by saying they're ill
  

What Causes a Nervous Breakdown?

If you ever hear someone say, "I think I'm having a nervous breakdown," they are saying they are under severe stress that is too much to bear. External stressors that can trigger a nervous breakdown include:

• Chronic work or relationship stress.

• Persistent stress from raising children.

• Serious financial problems.

• Being on the brink of losing your home or custody of your kids.

• A major life event such as divorce or disability.

• Death of a loved one.

• Chronic medical conditions.

• Chronic sleep deprivation or insomnia.

• Alcohol or drug abuse.

• Trauma associated with physical or sexual abuse, sexual orientation (LGBTQ+), racism, or war.

Individuals who have a greater chance of a mental breakdown include those with a personal or family history of anxiety disorders. Other contributing factors include poor coping skills, poor interpersonal relationships, lack of social support, lack of self-care, and unhealthy coping strategies, e.g., alcohol drinking or drug abuse. The onset of a nervous breakdown may also stem from an undiagnosed or untreated mental disorder.

The Meaning of a Nervous Breakdown in Different Cultures

“Nervous breakdown” and “mental breakdown” are outdated medical terms. Regardless, the meaning varies from culture to culture, whenever or wherever they are still used. Experts agree that regardless of culture, a "nervous breakdown" means that the individual is no longer able to do his "normal functioning" due to extreme emotional or psychological distress or a psychiatric condition.

As the World Health Organization (WHO) points out, mental health goes beyond the absence of mental disorders. The WHO defines it as “a state of well-being" that involves realizing your abilities and having the ability to cope with the normal stresses of life. It also means you can work productively and fruitfully and can contribute to your community. That's the essence of "normal functioning."

Nervous Breakdown and Substance Abuse

Similar to depression, a nervous breakdown can push someone to abuse alcohol, prescription drugs, or illicit drugs. Conversely, substance use disorder is sometimes an underlying reason for a mental breakdown. The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) confirms the connection between substance use disorders and mental health disorders.

Experts agree that people with mental health problems are more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol or develop a substance use disorder (SUD). In such cases, they can benefit from substance use disorder treatment within a rehab setting. It's important to treat both the SUD (also considered a mental health disorder) and the symptoms of a nervous breakdown. This approach is called dual diagnosis treatment and is done to increase the individual's chance of long-term recovery.

Getting Help During a Nervous Breakdown

Speak with your doctor if you suspect you may be experiencing a nervous breakdown after going over the symptoms. Another option is to reach out to a mental health professional. Early intervention and treatment can help prevent worsening of your symptoms, anxiety disorder, clinical depression, or psychosis.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a proven evidence-based treatment designed to help you manage stress and improve your coping skills. Medication therapy, e.g., antidepressants or anxiety medications, may be prescribed to treat certain symptoms. The overall goal of treatment is to help you to regain normal functioning.

Coping Strategies

Improving the way you handle stress can help reduce the physical and emotional effects. Here are some things you can do besides talking to your doctor or therapist:

• Manage your stress: Determine which responsibilities you’re comfortable taking on now and which can wait until you feel better. While you may be unable to avoid stress from work or family obligations, try to manage it. Stress-management techniques include deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and mindfulness. Use these techniques to relax your body and mind and reduce the levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) produced by the body due to stress.

• Make sleep your friend: Quality sleep nightly is a natural therapy for the brain and body. Decide on a bedtime routine that will allow you to unwind before bed and get the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep at night.

• Embrace self-care: Poor lifestyle habits contribute to reduced physical and mental health. You can take control of your mental health by eating nutritious foods and staying physically active. Self-care also involves avoiding alcohol, drugs, and prescription drug misuse.

• Take a break: Carve out some "me time" daily for connecting with loved ones or enjoying the outdoors. Soak up the early morning or late afternoon sunlight if possible. Sunlight helps boost the mood hormone in the brain called serotonin.

Final thoughts

You are not alone in your fight to overcome a nervous breakdown. Anyone can experience this mental health crisis, mental health is not static. It can change over time for multiple reasons and lead to a loss of ability to function. The important thing is recognizing that it's happening and seeking help right away.

Sources

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5: A Quick Glance

nimh.nih.gov - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

tandfonline.com - The Diagnostic Meaning of 'Nervous Breakdown' Among Lay Populations

who.int - Mental Health: Strengthening Our Response

drugabuse.gov - Part 1: The Connection Between Substance Use Disorders and Mental Illness

sunshinebehavioralhealth.com - Inpatient Alcohol Rehab

About the Author

Dr. Arturo Osorio is a licensed physician practicing in Nicaragua. Dr. Osorio went to Universidad Nacional Autónoma de Nicaragua (León), where he got a Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery Degree. He has been practicing medicine in public hospital and private clinics since 2018.

Interview with Logan Johnston of Facebook

This is an edited transcript of my podcast interview. To hear the edited podcast, subscribe to the Beautiful Voyager podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.

Logan: Let's start. I'm in Berkeley. My quarantine has been spent with like five roommates. I got this big space I live in like an artist cooperative called Lumen labs. Then my brother flew out from New York.

Meredith: I want to talk a little bit about you. This is the first time we're doing anything like this is the total experiment—given—but I did write up some things that I want to talk about. The first thing I want to talk about is you, Logan. I'm gonna give a quick background about my experience of Logan which is that we met while working at a crazy startup called Outdoorsy. Now I say crazy startup because they all are. Nothing against outdoorsy specifically. It’s the Airbnb of RVs so it's a place where you can rent an RV or rent out your RV. I liked Logan immediately (given) but one of the things that it stood out about Logan in particular is he's a community builder. Tell me about tell me your story in your words Logan.

Logan: Before there was a job more common job function called community manager, and I rejected that job function. I was like in boot camps and reading everything I could about growth marketing and retention and engagement because I wanted to have an impact in the startup I didn't want to be handling support staff. Although now it's like oh when we we need people to run campaigns, engage people, like identify the best users and bring in like bring them in for products and testing and all the end now like be frontline support for mental health crisis and like be a communications expert for handling unweaving like unweaving systemic racism that is happening inside of our communities that's all the function of a community manager now. Make sure we're getting ROI on our community. Make sure that people are being engaged and the retaining and more people are our people were in our community or having a much better experience than people who don't join it and all of that. So I'm happy to call myself a community manager now. Outdoorsy was kind of the first place that I legitimized it

Meredith: Even in Outdoorsy you were one foot growth. I feel like you were always like growth.

Logan: I had to get in the door so I told them their email was bad. And we built (actually you built it Meredith) a Facebook group for Outdoorsy. Like a lot of people who work with Facebook groups it's intended for a specific thing and it's not intended for you're not supposed to be able to start a Facebook group and they get all the user data that's in the Facebook group but we were we did have these users there's a Facebook group or owners RV owners and so we were going to start this like long-term relationship with them we need to build a lot of trust with them to get them to hand over the keys to somebody else because we told them that was a requires a lot of a lot of trust and a sense of security if you're an RV owner you know anybody you'll know that like these are like babies these are like precious this is like like for someone to be like baby RV dog. We really had to build a lot of trust and I was sending a lot of feedback to the Facebook team I jumped into I talked my way to one of the community programs for group admins and I was and I was trying to navigate that space and I made friends with other people in the space who were also using Facebook groups so we can kind of share ideas and information and and yeah one of those people (shout out to Susie Nelson she is was a community manager at digital marketer comm then was hired as a community strategist at Facebook and then referred me in I think) cuz we sneakily joined each other's Facebook groups and learn from each other. So yeah well you've always been a community pioneer.

Meredith: I feel like you're one of the only people who really takes it seriously like even the fact that you were like let's try to do this podcast Meredith. Let's see how this goes. I think you should do this one zoom. Let's record it. You are always pushing for community and I really appreciate that about you.

Logan: I really happy to be here but shout out like if anybody from the community is listening and can follow up in the wonderful Beautiful Voyager Slack group of which I've been a community member for a couple years. Now we can do some questions follow up with the QA and and maybe have like some some peer-to-peer conversation with the other wonderful lighthouse.

Meredith: When did you first find beautiful Voyager? Did you think of yourself as a lighthouse for others at that point ?

Logan: I first found beautiful voyager because I was very interested in what Meredith was doing — what you were doing post Outdoorsy. You were already starting to build Beautiful Voyager while you were there. I remember being like “Meredith you're just like such a unicorn and you gotta find the perfect spot” and so I was thinking of spots for you. I joined your community and was introducing you to people and and programs and opportunities. I realized you have to take your time. I joined it and I got a lot of value out of it even there even though I'm in terms of my habits and maybe more lurker I love it though I mean I love that you get something out of it just from lurking yeah. it's helpful to know that there's something out there that's helpful it's always there I think one of the biggest strengths of the community is it's always there like if something is going I find some people are quiet for years and then all of a sudden they'll have a question. This podcast may be a place where when someone comes on they have something they really wanted to talk about that they haven't been able to figure out where to talk about it otherwise. We can we can take a topic and run with it. When this first happened I was in my job at Facebook. I work with programs or community leaders so I'm managing these Facebook groups for communicators a lot of the way that they learn as anybody can. Community leaders learn from each other. Like you'll see how somebody models behavior how they respond to something and that you'll sort of experiment with and try that voice so it's really important to bring these simulators together really important to model behavior one of the early things that we sort of recognized with the social distancing in place was that there'd be incredible effects on people's mental health. That were sort of unseen it was like seeing it as like a second epidemic that was coming was the epidemic of loneliness and epidemic of people running out of not having as much access to the mental health services. I work at Facebook I'm also one of the first ones to say that there are negative effects of just scrolling and reading Facebook or any kind of media any kind of newsfeed scroll for like more than thirty minutes is going to affect you and I'm also very tired at the end of the like a day of zoom meeting.

One thing I was thinking about is how do we how do we manage mental health in this time? How may look wellness around like emotional energy and energy around purpose and our energy around like our physical health and what that looks like now.

Meredith: I'm also very interested in like how we can have conversations now.

We’re in a double-double social upheaval of of our norms the second one being this social unrest that came about of the like the murders of members of the black community that and right now I'm I'm looking at into a lot of communities and I'm just seeing that a lot of people are feeling unsafe on both ends. How do we have conversations without safety? How do we get more comfortable being uncomfortable so we can start having these conversations?

Meredith: Those are each such meaty areas. At Facebook have are you connected to other people talking about mental health on the inside? I know you're a voice of that but is it very grassroots how people like find each other? I say this working at a tech company myself where it's grassroots. You know those of us building community internally. I'm just curious if that's similar.

Logan: It's not that revolutionary to talk about mental health inside Facebook. People are pretty aware. I I think of Facebook is like a pretty conscientious org. Like they keep hammering in that you'll bring your whole self to work. There's a lot of trainings in place about and a lot of opportunities available to find the common kind of conversations that you're looking. Which is surprising because Facebook is huge. There are like very smart people who realize that our job is focused on leading teams, building teams around loneliness and mental health, and depolarization at Facebook.

Meredith: And do you check in with that like I would imagine that the things you're doing are important with them as well yeah because you're talking about these conversations and how do you facilitate these conversations we're finding we're finding opportunities together to sort of overlap and I think everybody is looking very closely at what group leaders are doing Facebook's mission statement is changed like five or five years ago to focus on communities rather than just connecting people but giving them the power to build community and yeah I it's rarely a problem of having access to the right kind of conversations or getting the right resources I think that the interesting thing about being at Facebook or Pinterest is that when you're working with this many users you're you're sort of solving problems as if you were like it in the ears if you were like a civic servant for something now you're that's so well put that is so well put that's so true yeah people right can you just change this in the platform it's like my gosh like there's there's policy teams there's content teams there's how do we have when you roll something out you're rolling it out to a lot of different types of people even in talking about you know content we're always having to think of how language works in different places around the world and you know it's it's it's a very scaled operation yeah I think there's a there is a real opportunity right now with what's happening there's with each time there's the there was first the Kobe crisis and now this crisis of for Humanity and doing the right thing for community there's a real opportunity right now to present idea build teams get them prioritized and get things done and and also everyone with as I'm sure you've heard around the news with Facebook everyone has realized that they're not only just part of a product a company that builds product but also a company that has enforces policies and we have to be aware of how those policies affect people and how and Brielle's and like that act of being aware of how policies affect people it's like there's a long road to being truly aware of all the different voices that are being represented on the platform the different experiences it must be so hard logan to speak on Facebook's behalf it is doing something like I feel yeah I mean I feel you in the most empathetic way like you I know that you're working for good and I know that you mean everything that you say about building community and getting people to connect with each other and communicate and you're in such a polarized environment around even the topic of your workplace I mean that just that's hard I've had some I think there's I think that that the experience of looking at news and social media and reading things is very disorienting right now and I think that there's a long way to go with that I think social media itself is very new we're like in the second ending of a nine inning ballgame of that we're just we've got a long way to go having given everyone a voice and a platform and connected people now what and I think we don't really know as a society we don't know where she look like I get a lot of feedback that's like oh Facebook's been messing up I've written read about it the news is like all right like I've give me you're like let's have a conversation about yeah and I I yeah it's it's it's hard because I think that like the way that the way that like information and is like hitting our brains right now it's like everyone kind of assumes that everyone already knows everything and I see that also like when there's these debates being had about what is the truth about police brutality and systemic racism it's like everyone has information as seemingly has access to all of the facts but and all the literature and so there's like makes dialog hard because it's like everyone should this seems that everyone should know everything people come into conversations with me and be like oh now that we both have established that like Facebook is a rotten company and everyone should delete their accounts or something and I think well how do we how do we have a conversation that's sort of like it includes like the good and the bad what you're saying really resonates with me I mean I really feel like there's we have like more information than ever but a layer of assumption that is thicker than ever - and it's not like the information is cleared up thinking yet we're still learning how to process that information and communicate with each other if you could wave a magic wand and have something change I don't even know if this is possible around community building or communication at Facebook or outside of Facebook what would it be yeah I'll talk in general I think that the power of a good Community Builder good community leader is like so overwhelms any kind of like tools or policy or even like the subject matter that they're working on it's like if you have somebody who is just like truly has that's kind of spirit it has that like goal of connecting people and making them feel safe and helping encourage whatever transformations that come from people individuals when they're in that kind of space you could be running a meme group about kitties and it is Trant it is like powerful they get like can you say more about what that mindset is like what what is the mindset that helps do that yeah it's just like I think it starts with values or somebody somebody is like this is especially the values around like I am here as like a servant leader I'm connecting people my work is to connect people and to keep something safe to have these guidelines and to take feedback and to evolve them you are talking my language by the way I mean that is exactly how I think of like what my role is Oh beautiful and beautiful and beautiful ship Voyager in beautiful Voyager but also you know I established the first mental health ERG at Pinterest and I've really it's it's brought me a lot of joy to as things are getting so difficult especially through the protest to feel like I understand my role and it's exactly as you just described mmm so we just did like a mental health meeting along with the blackboard group at Pinterest and I just felt a lot of clarity around my role yeah and that's key sometimes I'm like within the last couple of weeks I'm like oh man do I speak up am I getting a little paralyzed like what if I say the wrong thing what if I everyone feels that way yeah and like if I say too much I'm too forward forthright am i trying to absolve the guilt and shame that I feel yeah am I like should I check in with pocs but I don't want to put my motional labor on them should I know I know but I looks at my rolodex for the most woke person I know I will paralyze but then like when something is something happens in one of my communities I have these principles I have the value of what is it is what what is this I look through that it's Siddhant record of incidents and the convert dialogue and I was like what is taxing to safety what is and what is what do we need to have in order to not just do conflict resolution not just solve the problem but get back to like friendly relations it's like reconciliation and yeah so I feel like I have commute as a community leader like relating to you what you said it's like you have a role and taking action helps me so much and feeling like I can have a positive impact based on my role so I totally feel yeah this is a hard question because I feel like the answer might be now do you think of yourself as an over-thinker yes oh okay surprised I even told them column and I'm like it's always like oh really like you know what's happening inside of me right now it doesn't surprise me because all the people that I'm drawn to tend to be everything that makes sense um Enneagram is helpful for me I've been working with a coach that refers to the enemy we established where I was on the Enneagram really fast which one which one are you I'm a seven okay one who is I can associate new ideas very easily I'm going in different directions to I get like once I stop having fun with stuff then I start to get antsy and I want to like drop it and that was useful because it's like the work there is like grounding into principles like not getting super flighty because it's exhausting hmm and it exhausts me too when I'm like I started like not even listen to myself when someone's like what's your opinion on this is like man I don't want to like start in a new direction or I don't want to just come up with a new idea because it doesn't mean we're gonna exit on it a lot of flats are like that too it's like I realize I could always have like a creative solution to something or you ask a question you get down to a question your start getting answers in it in your own like when practicing mindfulness if you bring in attention and you start I can start getting like a lot of ideas information it's like yeah yeah it's exhausting because it's like nothing can give you grounding

yeah I am journaling you yeah so you touched on this Oh journal I said what are some of your tips for your own managing your own overthinking it sounds like meditation journaling I have really enjoyed guided meditation of I bounced between the headspace app and the waking up app I'm Sam Harris yeah it's great um they're both great yeah I like it I really learn a lot from both of both of them because one is considered the headspace app is kind of like a mix of like body scan and the pasta and the headspace app kind of I like I like that it's a little meta it kind of shows you tells you what you're doing is you're doing it mm-hmm and it can kind of trust that and also I think that I've learned that like guided meditation is probably good for my undiagnosed ADHD mmm though I'm sticking with sticking with that for now and then the next

next thing I think is just bringing sort of like slow like giving myself opportunities to slow down and doing that as a practice like before I enter like my wake up what's going on checking all my stuff I like observe how I'm feeling right before I do that and observe like Oh am I feeling anxious am I feeling like shame I noticed that a lot of times I'm looking at news and stuff I'm trying to find the news that is gonna make me feel the most shame so I can remind myself and I'm a good person yeah I can feel so horrible about the news and stuff and not that dunk that I'm ready to change that right away or just having that observation but just knowing that that's what I'm doing and that's something to be aware of yeah I was gonna ask if the if the awareness of that state changes the behavior it sounds like not yet but it might I mean I like to think it does i think it's i think that like deciding that you're going to playing with this idea that deciding that you're just going to change a behavior because you want to is not exactly is not even as effective of being aware of your willingness to change them mmm yeah like a peeper where they're like man where does my i have a value that wants to be better and then above that I have this tendency this pattern that I was still doing the thing and you sort of like bringing compassion for yourself in that way because I was

it's easy to feel bad about like that you want to change but it's not able to change right away to like do a habit for a few days but you haven't you're not like you kind of lose the thread and then you lose it and then you you think that you're you don't have integrity or something that was happened to me a lot and who are some of your favorite um sort of like I don't want to say philosophers but you're in the habit world I are you like a habit builder person and who do you read and follow in that yeah I like James clear he's amazing by the way I mean that weekly email oh my three things every time I'm with every not talked about this it's amazing I don't think we've talked about it he's Columbus Ohio I think well you know you know a lot about James clear well I wrote him once I first got his email I was like this is incredible I need to meet this guy's in Columbus Ohio my brother lives there I wrote him and he's like I'm a little busy I didn't realize he's super famous he was so nice to write me back he's like I'm a little busy and then I realize like I was like he's like a huge by selling off it was sweet actually I like that I like taking I got a shout out this class I'm doing right now from Carolyn Elliot she is the author of existential kink and she encourages these habits like waking up pulling a tarot card writing it down and then looking for like how that tarot card will like rhyme with throughout the day and then at the end of it like just being like oh I didn't know what the morning but here's the ways that my day was kind of like the ten the five of swords like that it's kind of like loosening your brain yeah like a brain fun I like it yeah I like it cuz it's not necessarily saying this is the habit that will be helpful for you first it's more like you said it's like looser it's like you do the thing and then you reflect on it later you were super cool or build a habit of reflection well yeah and you're building a habit of like new pathways in your brain new more playful pathways it sounds like my last question in the podcast format that you and I have is what is your latest 1d win and before you answer I just want to explain that 1d win is short for wonderful win it was named by a very long-standing member of the beautiful Voyager slack community and I thought I thought I knew he lived in Stockholm but I thought he was British but he's like 1d is not British Arab he's of an Arab descent but lives in Stockholm but anyway so 1d wine what's your favorite what's your favorite one be one a wonderful win and it could be personal or it could be it could be anything and it's something that happened recently that you're like had that felt good I hmm we had a is my brother's birthday the other day right I think my mom likes to create rituals routines we so she's trying to start to create a family ritual where on birthdays we say what's something we like about the person and it was nice as I just spent all this time with my brother and I was able to share with him that I see that he's having to be very strong now these he's an actor out of we can't work and can't be passion about what he's passionate about and I was able to share that with his friends and it's just like that moment of like we've said before just like being able to feel like you have something important to add being able to be of service like help me feel better - and also summarize this time that you invested in like building your relationship with him right now yeah because of co-ed we're where is he an actor where's he in LA normally weird since he's in New York City normally yeah he just uh I'll share this later he got he was cast in this like he's like breakthrough role perhaps in this play that was gonna be off-broadway that was by the Jeremy o Harris who was the playwright for race race play and it was this he's gonna win Jeremy Harris was surely gonna win some Tony's and then Connor my brother was going to appear in this play the same week of the Tony Awards and now that's all been deferred and and so he's just like like I have to wait I have to wait for my dream to come back yeah so hard it's so hard this so hard Connor I cannot wait for you to be famous yeah I'm so excited for when your dream does the world will be a better place the world will totally be a better place any final thoughts this was amazing I feel like I learned so much about you that makes me so happy oh I'm happy too that's how what is it what is what inspired you to do a podcast what's your dream for it well I I've I've been such an avid podcast consumer for so long I actually started listening to audio books when they were tapes in the year 2000 and they would be sent in a box to me in New York and you'd get like 14 tapes and it was books on tape but what I always really wanted was conversation it was like I was waiting for podcasts to be born and when they were I listened to more podcasts than anyone I know like I have like 30 podcast or 40 podcasts that are I'm a regular listener of so I listened to a lot of podcasts Oh usually for walks mmm and I do this this weird massage bed or how it's called the meegan bed it's like this South Korean jade Ball super hot anyway I love it and that and so I always listen to it I'm on that and but they're just these different times of the day and you know sometimes if I'm just like trying to relax my eyes I'll just like lay I'm listening to podcasts it's just like a it's almost compulsive because I listen to so many but you know we have those parts of ourselves so so you know I've always been such a consumer and I want to have conversations but I kind of like writing like I never thought I had anything that's special to a door that different but enough people lately since my book came out and I was doing podcast interviews I did seven podcast interviews and I really loved them and then people would listen to them and say please try to do a podcast do if I could so since you helped me figure out a format I figure why not try it this is wonderful I'd love to inspiring inspiring more podcasters out there I'm sure I hope so you're inspired and you have a great voice for podcasting yes I thank you I had been told that before I have an actor friend who always says you need to be doing voice work Meredith which I see is I'm you know a major compliment so yeah I feel like compliments about voice is like something something hits deep about them like if your compliment like oh you have like such beautiful like eyes really I'm suspicious like what do you mean superficial that's superficial but if you're like I really feel like you have a calming and soothing pearlescent voice

somebody once said I forget where this quote came from but it was something like people don't remember the things you said in a conversation but they remember how you made them feel and that's my Angelou thank you thank you and that is something I think about a lot is that you know I used to be really stuck on like the exact did I say the exact right thing did I say it the right way and now I'm like you know what people remember is how you how you made them feel yeah yeah I don't remember we're talking about just now compliments yeah um thank you so much Logan I loved having you as my first guest oh let's we can I'm I'm glad to be here at the beginning it'll be fun looking back on this later and seeing how far we've come I know I know me too yeah um bye dear thank you thank you

Are You Ready To Go Back To The Office?

Photo by Alesia Kazantceva

If you are, you’re in the minority.

Summer is here, vaccination rate is on the rise and health safety restrictions are being lifted a little more. It feels like all human beings are starting to breathe and live again. What’s not to be happy about? It’s all good now, isn’t it? Aren’t we going back to “normal”? It’s not that simple.

I remember at the beginning of the pandemic, everyone was asking: ‘’when are we going back to the office’’? Most weren’t mentally and physically prepared to work from home full-time, 5 days a week. It was like we needed to go back. Now that we are finally contemplating the end of COVID-19 and that we have spent the last year and a half at home, the narrative and wants have changed…a complete 180-degree change! According to recent Canadian and US surveys, about 80% of employees don’t want to go back to work in-person at their corporate offices post-covid. (1) At least not for 5 days a week, maybe 3. (2)

Whether or not the pandemic has created trauma for some employees, thinking about an imminent return to their “normal” physical workplace can mentally impact each person differently. Regardless, as revealed by surveys, 72% of employees said working from home makes them less stressed. (3) We can then safely assume that the anxiety level of the majority is on the rise as organizations are communicating their in-office return plan and expectations.

Let’s dig deeper into this important stressful dilemma for the workforce and organizations. Especially when views on productivity, working hours and engagement don’t seem to be aligned between employees and employers. I will be drawing parallels with my own few personal returns to the office after going through mental health challenges and recoveries, which are in many ways comparable to what most workers are currently facing.

Why don't people want to return to the office?

These are the main reasons for not wanting to return to the office, according to surveys:

• More than three quarters of employees ranked avoiding commute as a main reason on various surveys. The stress, fatigue and time lost commuting in traffic are major factors. (4)

• The top reasons for preferring to continue to work from home are convenience, saving money and increased productivity. (5)

• Other main reasons are reduced stress and the ability to better achieve a work-life balance. (6) 

Why do some people want to go back?

• Close to half of employees are concerned about missing out on career progression if they keep working from home. (7) 

• In-person communication with colleagues are missed. (8)

• Despite time saved from commuting and increased flexibility, longer workdays and heavier workloads have become a reality for many workers, making it more stressful and challenging for them to disconnect while at home. (9)

And what about the employer point of view?

According to recent polls, employers responded as follow:

• 17% said productivity loss from remote work is a top concern. (10) 

Despite this rather low percentage, employers and employees have opposite views on productivity and hours worked during the pandemic. From an employee’s perspective (which I understand), this divergence has been a high stressor and frustration point. Many surveys11,12,13 reported that between half to three quarters of workers said they paid the “COVID tax” meaning they did more hours (including nights and weekends for some) than pre-pandemic. Additionally, workers felt more productive with an increase in the quality of their work. (14,15,16,17) 

• 26% said their culture has suffered from the lack of in-person interaction, while 59% said it improved as employees learned more about their colleagues during the pandemic. (18) 

Safeguarding the corporate culture is an important argument heard in favor of a return to the office. Idea generation, innovation development, quick corridor chats, level of engagement and team spirit are also elements that can usually be maximized by face-to-face interactions. 

Here’s what I’ve learned

I have experienced a few returns to the office after going through psychological struggles. I feel the COVID-19 pandemic was similar in terms of 1) having to accept a situation that was out of my control, 2) adapting to it, 3) changing my perceptions and behaviors toward it, and 4) spending more time home. 

My first experience was after a burnout, then 10 years later after a severe depression and more recently when starting my own business. In each scenario, I went back to work positively changed but not without many questions, fear, anxiety, new needs and hope. Here are my key observations:

• I had time to know myself better and reflect on my life, work and rearrange my priorities

• I had worked hard to become a better version on myself (and needed to continue that)

• I anxiously wondered: 

  • How will my employer support me? (part-time/gradual return, flexible schedule, reduced workload or additional resources, other tools to support me?)

  • How will I be able to maintain my self-care? (e.g. time for psychotherapy, practice my mental wellness tools and apply my strategies)

  • How will I be perceived by my boss, colleagues, and the organization? (with the existing stigma around mental health, especially at work)

    • Are my chances of promotion now gone?

    • Will I still be trusted to carry important tasks?

    • Will I be perceived as weak, sick, or disabled?

  • Who will I be able to talk to and trust if I need support?

When coming back, I not only had to re-organize and adapt to my daily schedule (family, work, meals, chores, meditation, exercising…), get use to commuting again twice a day and refresh my work entire but also “re-learn” the corporate/office life (red tape, gossip, egos, social, non-verbal cues…).  On the bright side, seeing and interacting with my colleagues, vendors and clients felt good. Same for my sense of belonging. Without having to disclose details, I made sure to communicate to my boss my needs, propose a plan and demonstrate I can be trusted, productive, flexible, and performing. It was important as I often made progressive returns and worked from home too. What was the outcome? After my various returns to work, I rated Constantly Exceed Expectations in my year-end review. 

Where to go from here...

As days and weeks go by, it will be interesting to see how both the employees’ and employers’ perspective, needs and wants evolve (for better I hope).

The post-pandemic return to the office brings a unique opportunity to share our “peerness” among colleagues, including with our bosses. It means that we all have shared the same experience of struggles, uncertainty and fear caused by this global crisis. From business owners, to CEOs, to managers, to employees, we all have been impacted by Covid-19, at different levels maybe, but in the same time period, with the same restrictions. So let’s open up to each other and use this unique chance to reset. Use this pandemic as an opportunity to bring us closer, create more empathy, unity and understanding. A chance to be better human beings at work and in our personal lives.

All the best to those who are returning to the office. I’m leaving you with data and food for thoughts to help preserve your mental wellness at work during this transition time.

If you're an employee thinking about returning to the office, you may want to…

- Clearly communicate your needs, concerns, and ideas

- Be opened to try the proposed return plan and self-assess
- Show more flexibility at least for the first weeks of the return
- Practice self-care like breathing, taking mindfulness breaks and using self-compassion
- Take advantage of the mental health support and resources offered by your employer

- Remember you always have a choice and control over your perspective and behavior

“Employees are looking for companies that put their well-being and experience first . . . [and] they want the ability to choose where they work . . . and have the power to control their own schedules.” (19)

“A majority (96 percent) of respondents believe a company culture that promotes mental and/or physical well-being matters. And when asked what factors play into establishing and maintaining a good company culture, 71 per cent of those surveyed felt leadership was most important, with 43 percent citing flexible work environments and schedules.” (20)

“A majority (58 percent) of employees surveyed would like a hybrid-work arrangement that gives them the option to work from home or at the office once the pandemic ends.”21

“Almost half of respondents would look for another role that allowed remote work. Some 35 percent of those surveyed agreed with the statement: “If my superiors ordered me to go back to the office, I would start to look for another job where I can work from home.”22

If you're an employer who wants to support returning employees, you may want to:

• Clearly communicate your return plans and expectations

• Be opened to comments, feedback, needs, and ideas (internal survey?)

• Be flexible at least for the first weeks of the return

• Be transparent, honest and trust your employees

• Provide solid mental health support, resources, and programs (like ERGs - Employee Resource Groups)

• Assess and honestly ask: Is our corporate culture a human experience? If not, why? What is our plan to change and sustain it?

“While prior to the pandemic, a small percentage of the workforce disclosed their disabilities to their employers, as we all return to working out of our offices, there could be an increase in employees disclosing disabilities. This increase in disclosures will mean that any return to the office program will also require accommodation and support of these employees.” (23)

“Leading employers have moved away from thinking about how to pay for and manage their programs, to asking how their programs can treat employees who need them “like they’re a human being”. “The programs you end up with and the way you deliver them ends up being quite different” (24)

“Introducing more mental-health supports to their benefits programs, including training for managers to recognize the early signs of mental-health issues.” (25)

“All employer respondents said mental-health issues are their top pandemic-related concern for staff, followed by the impact of childcare and elder care support (80 percent) and physical health issues (59 percent).”(26)

“If remote work is here to stay, then employers must ensure they’re creating a corporate culture that promotes physical and mental well-being and offers greater flexibility in the way their employees work.” (27)

“Since some employees experienced trauma during the pandemic, it’s a good idea for employers to have resources readily available for people leaders about how to identify people who are potentially struggling and how to have conversations about those observations. It’s important to de-stigmatize therapy, counselling and support. The coronavirus crisis has been hard for many employees and normalizing anxious or difficult feelings will help them reach out for the help they need.” (28)

“Employers should allow for some self-determination of pacing in the return to the workplace. As employees have probably reorganized their days working from home around their home lives, it will be important to be flexible about the start and end of a workday or allow employees the ability to continue to work from home for some of the work week, at least in the beginning.” (29)

2020-2021 survey sources used for this article:

• 1,5,14,22 Leger and the Association for Canadian Studies 

• 2,3,4,6,7,8,15,27 Owl Labs and Global Workplace Analytics

• 9,11,16,24 ADP Inc. and the Angus Reid Institute 

• 10,12,17,18,26 Chartered Financial Analyst Institute 

• 13 Robert Half Survey 

• 19,20,21 Citrix Systems Inc 

• 23 Nathan Friedman, FastCompany: Workplace Evolution, 6-16-21

• 25 Mercer’s most recent global trends report 

• 28,29 Benefits Canada

Born and raised in Quebec City, Patrice (Pat G) spent several years in the medical industry, overcame a burn-out, before moving to Boston where he experienced severe mental health challenges that almost took his life. His recovery journey took him through self-discovery and a career shift. He became a Certified Peer Specialist and highly engaged in humanizing mental health through education and awareness.

Over a year ago, Pat pursued his dream to move to California where he joined the California Association for Mental Health Peer-Run Organizations (CAMHPRO) to facilitate state advocacy workgroups and peer education webinars. He is also a certified speaker and trainer for NAMI and participates in various mental health writing and speaking engagements.

More recently, Pat founded and launched Human Experience Peer Consultant, a company that offers a unique perspective when it comes to mental health awareness, education and training in the workplace. He loves to connect and collaborate with Peers across North America doing unique, innovative and human-focused work in the mental wellness field.

Try Experimenting with Paint-By-Numbers

When Gaétan from Winnie’s Picks first approached me, asking if I’d like to experiment with a cool adult paint-by-numbers project, I was so excited and couldn’t say yes fast enough. As an avid amateur crafter (who sucks at most crafts), I have enthusiasm in spades…and painting talent in drips.

This is what the kit look like when it arrived.

Gaétan then let me know that I could actually paint a photo of my own choosing, and that by simply uploading a photo I loved, I could personalize my painting. I had no choice, did I? I had to choose a big happy shot of my dog, June Bug.

Yes, the project took over our dining table for a month, but my family was cool with it.

June bug coming to life. That big pink tongue was a natural starting place.

Just as I do with jigsaw puzzles, I got sucked into my new creative project. It was a great pastime for my 9-year-old daughter and I to share (once I got comfortable with it not being “perfect.”) It got me to put down my phone, and I love the tactile qualities of it. I would say that I ended up enjoying it even more than coloring!

And here are the results! Not bad, eh? Esp for someone who truly can’t draw or paint. I would definitely recommend trying an adult paint-by-number project if you’re interested in a new way to redirect your busy thoughts.

Update on May 23, 2021

I recently tried a new product from Craft-Ease that I wanted to share. It’s called Diamond Painting and it’s similar to paint by numbers, except you focus on tiny beads attached with glue. It’s super fun and very engaging. Everyone in my family is enjoying it!

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Do you have any creative experiments that have worked to help with overthinking? Share them in the comments!

The Best TV Shows To Distract Yourself After Your COVID Vaccine

In anticipation of my second COVID vaccine (knowing that I had a reaction after the first and would probably spend a couple of days in bed), I ran a poll on the Beautiful Voyager Instagram to find out if there were hidden gems in the streaming world that I hadn’t come across. The recommendations were so great that I didn’t want to keep them to myself. So here is a list of the top recommended comedies, broken down by streaming network.

Netflix

Never Have I Ever

Atypical

1. Ginny and Georgia (Netflix)

2. Atypical (Netflix)

3. I'm Sorry (Netflix)

4. Derry Girls (Netflix)

5. Sex Education (Netflix)

6. Schitt’s Creek (Netflix)

7. The Good Place (Netflix)

8. Community (Netflix)

9. Never Have I Ever (Netflix)

Hulu

Solar Opposites

What We do in the Shadows

1. Solar Opposites (Hulu)

2. Life in Pieces (Hulu)

3. What We Do In the Shadows (Hulu)

4. Dicktown (Hulu)

5. Pen15 (Hulu)

HBO

1. Barry (HBO)

2. Search Party (HBO)

Amazon Prime

1. Red Oaks (Prime)

2. Forever with Maya Rudolf (Prime)

3. Fleabag (Prime)

4. Party Down (Prime)

Apple TV

ted lasso

1. Ted Lasso (Apple)

2. Mythic Quest (Apple)

Also

1. Saved by the Bell reboot (NBC)

Thank you to everyone who shared these recs!

Why Did It Take Me So Long To Accept My Mental Health Medication?

Photo by Vladislav Babienko

And is accepting medication different than taking it?

Attention to details has never been one of my strengths. It may come as a surprise (or not) for some people; having held various marketing management positions during my career. I believe that somehow, with extra efforts, I’ve been able to pay attention to the small stuff when needed. It’s never been perfect but based on the success and job promotions I got through the years, I can safely say that I managed in my own way, at that time. 

However, in the past year or so, I began feeling more overwhelmed with work and started making small mistakes on a regular basis. Nothing really bad nor compromising for my employer but still they were there. For a recovering perfectionist and top performer like me, this was so annoying especially when it was my boss who was catching the imperfections. I could feel that something was different with me. It felt like my head was full, close to spinning. I also had more difficulty focusing and covering “all my angles”. Yet I kept on top of my work and personal life responsibilities, barely. 

I asked myself: What is going on with me? What has changed? I started doing an inventory: I launched my own mental health consulting business, completed a few training sessions, quickly boosted my professional network, got involved in various projects and the list goes on. Even though I chose to engage in these projects, they fueled me with a mix of excitement, joy, stress and increased anxiety. The scariest part was that I perceived my small mistakes like I’m not good enough and never will be. Leading me to feeling depressed, tired and sad. Same feeling with my personal life i.e. not being able to do everything and/or correctly. That’s where the new skills I have developed during my recovery came handy. Thanks to my awareness practice (and my wife) who helped me raise a mental red flag on this internal chatter. Seems like the old patterns and negative automatic thoughts came back in force. So, I used Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, my daily mantra and meditation to deal with them. But was that enough? No, it was not. I needed help, so I booked an appointment with my doctor.

Not another mental health diagnosis and medication!

I always suspected living with a mild attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) that didn’t affect me to a point of challenging my everyday life (or so I thought). As mentioned earlier, I’ve been able to self-manage that condition for a long time. But a few years ago, I was curious to get some sort of confirmation and completed ADHD evaluation tests with my psychiatrist. Without any surprise, I checked most of the boxes on those questionnaires. Still, I wasn’t ready nor saw the need to take further actions then. Unfortunately, the day of no longer being able to manage that part of me, despite my numerous wellness tools, has come, as I turned 46! 

In light of this “new” additional mental wellness challenge and potential need for medical treatment, I wanted to share my perspective on medication from both my own experience and from my observations helping others as a certified peer specialist. Medication is a huge stigmatized subject in the mental health world, not only for the individuals needing them but also for their loved ones and clinical providers. There is a lot of misunderstanding, misinterpretation, judgment, and fear involved. I’ve often heard: “Why won’t you just take your meds?”, “What is the big deal if the medication is supposed to make you feel better?”, “People with mental health challenges are so non-compliant when it comes to taking meds”. 

What Medication Represented to Me

Here are some common myths and stigma around psychotherapeutic medication. While everyone’s experience is different, I hope you will gain a new perspective of what medication can represent for some people, like me. You will see that they can be much more than “just” meds.

1.The fear of no longer feeling like myself 

Change in personality is a very common fear of people hesitating to get on a psychiatric medication. Studies and publications argue that it isn’t your personality that is changing but rather your feelings of depression and anxiety. So meds like antidepressants are supposed to help you be yourself again. Often, when people mention feeling like a zombie or over agitated on their new medication, the dosage may be wrong or the medication may not be the right one for that person. In my case, even though I was trying to blame my med for feeling different, I figured out that I was actually holding on to my “old” self. That was who I knew for all these years until I found the true me. The fear of no longer being able to identify with my past (extreme) range of emotions, of no longer being funny or impulsive was very present in my mind. I remember at that time my therapist challenged my concern by asking: “and where did the “old” Pat lead you?” (referring to my worst mental health challenges). That phrase changed the idealistic perception I had of the one I once was, and it helped me move on. It turned out that as I was progressing into my recovery. I was transforming myself for better using medication, therapy, self-help support groups and coping tools. I was confusing this positive change with not feeling like myself anymore. It was scary at first but then I came to appreciate who I was becoming: a better version of me, the true me I had dismissed for all these years.

Note: It is important to find with your doctor which medication is right for you. It may take a few trials before you find the one that helps you best with the less side effects. In my experience, some antidepressants made my symptoms of depression and anxiety worse, some others can make you feel numb or too agitated. Dosage needs to be adjusted to your own condition and situation. Everyone’s experience is different, but persistence and patience are key. Keeping an open dialogue with your prescriber during the process is necessary. Once I found the right medication, it really helped me. I’m still on it today and need it. It’s part of my toolbox.

2. The constant reminder that I’m a “sick” 

Every morning at breakfast, I take my antidepressant. I know it helps me. I’ve tried getting off of it a couple times and it didn’t work out. My anxiety and depression symptoms would increase despite my use of multiple other wellness tools like mindfulness meditation, exercising, journaling and therapy. I would take my med as prescribed but it took me years to accept it in my min. Even though it helped me and gave me zero side effects, I would always question if I should take it, if I should stop it. Why is that? Through my own reflection, I realized that it was a daily reminder of my condition. Reminding me that I’m a patient, weak, ill, disabled, doomed. Which wasn’t true. The day I decided to change that perception became a huge positive turning point in my recovery. I chose to accept my medication because it helped me concentrate, take a step-back, see more clearly and get going. My medication is just one of my various mental wellness tools. That’s it. I am not defined by it. I am who I am: a resilient, strong, confident, happy, loving husband, brother, son and friend and the list goes on. I am a person that sometimes experiences symptoms of anxiety, depression and ADHD. I’m not sick nor a patient. I’m a human being who recovered from severe mental health challenges and who can achieve anything. And that’s just a piece of my great life.

3. The stigma around mental health 

What will people around me think if they find out I take psychiatric medication? How will they perceive me? A lesser person? What if my spouse, partner, friends or parents have a negative opinion on mental health (or any) medication? These are normal questions and valid concerns. There is still a lot of stigma around mental health conditions even though we seem to have made some progress opening the dialogue during the current pandemic. Personally, being open about my condition and medication has reduced my anxiety versus trying to constantly hide it. Of course, a big part of my job is to share my story and break the stigma. Yet, I’m not advertising it for no specific reason and I’m intentionally being careful depending on the context.

4. The big “bad” pharmaceutical industry & their “pill pushers”

Unfortunately, psychiatric medication has had its load of bad press. Whether it is antidepressants or anxiolytics, the abuse of prescription levels by doctors and incentives by pharma companies were real. Practices have changed but there is still a need for educating clinicians who prescribe these drugs. How do they assess the person they treat? How fast are they to opt for a quick fix? Some people may also refuse to support the drug industry or doubt the medication’s efficacy or draw from bad experiences with previous mental health medications.

Regardless of our opinion on pharma companies, I think what helps is for doctors to treat the person as a whole while using active listening. Also, educating the public about the role of medication and how to be prepared for their doctor’s visit (list of symptoms, since when, frequency, intensity, list of health, lifestyle and life changes, list of questions for the doctor, etc). Medication isn’t a be all and all. It is a tool among many other tools in our wellness toolbox (like therapy, peer support, exercising, eating healthy foods, sleeping well). The hammer won’t get the portrait on the wall, it needs a nail and a person or two to do the job. Same with selfcare. Kudos, to doctors who ensure the person is well-equipped and not relying solely on the meds. Preferably, doctors would present the person with more than one medication option when possible. Lastly, both the doctor and the person would gain from openly discussing concerns, potential side-effects, interactions, and other possible risks related to the medication that is being considered. 

5. The way we are…our own barrier

In previous columns I wrote how our environment and the way we were raised have influenced our beliefs and character. So, it applies to medication too. Honestly, I’ve never been a big fan of taking meds in general, even for small pain. I guess I didn’t like the thought of putting something unnatural into my body. I would prefer to tough it out or use other means like drink water, eat more fruits, take a rest or natural supplements. Plus, ignoring our injuries, pain and other health issues seemed to be running in my family. We’d tell ourselves: “no time for that, no complaining, just carry on”. After a while, we would end up at the doctor’s office or in the hospital because our situation worsened. Then, we’d take the meds (a bit late!). Same thing happens with my mental health challenges. I ignored stress, that turned into anxiety that turned into severe depression/burn-out and the way to a suicide attempt. At that time, I wrongfully thought I could push through the pain on my own. I didn’t want meds to “mess” with my personality and I wouldn’t admit I wasn’t well due to pride, stigma and my own perception.

So, how can we help ourselves and others?

First, keeping an open dialogue, using curiosity while putting aside our judgment would help better understand why the person is being hesitant to take (or stay on) their mental health medication. Kindly getting the person to open up by asking questions like: How do you do on your medication? Do you feel they help or make you feel worse? How so? How do you feel when you don’t take them? What are your concerns? Do you feel you have all the information you need? Secondly, validating the person’s experience by showing empathy and maybe sharing a piece of your own experience with a similar situation. Lastly, asking the person how you can help and support them in regard to their medication and overall wellness. It could be to accompany the person to their doctor’s appointment and help asking questions.

Through my own experience and while supporting others, I realized that there is much more behind what seems like a simple act of taking the medication. Now that I understand my own perceptions, fears and have been through the acceptance process before, I feel better equipped to welcome and accept my new ADHD medication or I’d rather say: my new wellness tool. 

Born and raised in Quebec City, Pat G (Patrice) spent several years in the medical industry, overcame a burn-out, before moving to Boston where he experienced severe mental health challenges that almost took his life. His recovery journey took him through self-discovery and a career shift. He became a Certified Peer Specialist and highly engaged in humanizing mental health through education and awareness.

Over a year ago, Pat pursued his dream to move to California where he joined the California Association for Mental Health Peer-Run Organizations (CAMHPRO) to take care of communications and to facilitate state advocacy workgroups and peer education webinars. He is also a speaker and trainer for NAMI and participates in various writing and speaking engagements. More recently, Pat founded and launched Human Experience Peer Consultant, a company that offers a unique perspective when it comes to mental health awareness, education and training in the workplace. He loves to connect and collaborate with Peers across North America doing unique, innovative and human-focused work in the mental wellness field. 

How to Overcome Your Own Negativity Bias

Photo by Nathan Dumlao

Suppose you’re at work and your coworker says something negative about your outfit. You might have something to say back to them but don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of your manager so you begrudgingly decide to keep quiet about it. By the time you come home, you’re probably already tired from stewing in that negative atmosphere. Maybe it makes you sick to your stomach or overwhelmed by headaches. Does this sound familiar?

The truth is no one can stop criticisms from forming in any direction. You can, however, stop how we receive them. Instead of magnifying any bit of negativity that arrives in your life, why not embrace positivity instead? When negativity is left unchecked, that can affect your behavior, your decision-making, your relationships, your job, and so on. That’s why it’s important to work towards being positive, instead of being negative.

Of course, positives and negatives affect the human psyche. However, negativity can overwhelm a person to the point where he or she feels helpless to do something about it. Negativity can come from anything, anywhere, when someone:

• Remembers being insulted by either a random person, or by someone they know

• Has flashbacks of a traumatic experience

• Is more apt to react strongly to the negatives more than the positives

• Has long thought sessions that are negative, rather than having long one for positives

If these instances sound like you, then here is some good news: There IS something that you can do about negativity. In this essential guide, we’ll show you a few ways to overcome negative bias with a good dose of positivity and mindfulness. Read on! 

Practice Self-Awareness

First, give yourself a pep talk. That means challenging the negative self-talk that might be interfering with your day. This allows you to practice self-awareness, and be more apt to silence the negative self-talk. How?

First and foremost, you’ll need to recognize any thoughts that might resemble negative self-talk. Hint: What thoughts are making you doubt yourself? What thoughts are labeling you with mean names? 

Also, look at your behavior. How are you feeling right now? If you’re experiencing a negative emotion, how can you change it?

Once you answer these types of questions, you can challenge the negative self-talk by replacing them with more useful and positive ones.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is another way to tackle negative bias. In fact, this practice allows you to pay more attention to your emotions, and respond to them in more positive ways. 

Normally, mindfulness practices consist of some – or all – of the following:

• Reflection

• Guided meditations

• Other mindfulness interventions

By practicing mindfulness, you be able to learn more about your thoughts and feelings, and what you can do about them.

Restructure Your Cognition

Negative biases don’t just affect the emotions; they also affect your brain. According to FabFitFun, negativity raises cortisol levels. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can wreak havoc in the brain, thus affecting your mood. Also linked to depression and anxiety, negativity can only make things worse if you suffer from any psychological disorder.

If this sounds like you, then it’s time to restructure the cognitive. How? By catching yourself every time you’re feeling negative about a situation. In other words, find a way to “restructure” – or reframe – that situation. Look at everything in the situation: the people, the event, etc.

Embrace Positivity

Finally, it’s time to embrace positivity. (You heard right! EMBRACE POSITIVITY!) 

When you take the time to take in positivity, not only are you savoring the moment, but you’re also creating an experience that you can reflect to, whenever you’re feeling down. You can do this by:

• Focusing on positive mental images and feelings

• Engaging in good sensations

• Engaging in happy thoughts

• Embracing good emotions

By doing the above activities, you’ll be able to keep negative bias at bay, and go about your business. 

Conclusion

So, now that you know how to better combat negative thoughts, feelings, etc., why not put these practices into good use today? Who knows? You might feel better after a while. Keep in mind: You deserve to be happy! Stay positive!

Lauren Groff is a writer and editor at  Assignment Help and Essayroo based in Richmond, Virginia.

As a mental health writer, she specializes in psychology, depression, and positivity practices.

In her spare time, she practices yoga and mindfulness.