Top 10 Nailed-It Moments From the Hilarious World of Depression

If you haven't had a chance to check out John Moe's podcast, the Hilarious World of Depression, holiday travel is a great time for binge-listening. Plug in on a flight across the country and get involved in someone else's life and experiences. Along the way, pick up great insight about anxiety and depression from smart, funny people, like the ones listed here.  Without further ado, here are the top ten nailed-in moments from my favorite mental health podcast in 2017.

1. On the Relationship Between Anxiety and Depression.

“[Anxiety and depression] are closely related. For me, depression comes in to help manage the anxiety. And no, it doesn’t do a great job of it.” - Aimee Mann

2. On Being the Child of an Addict

"My mother (god bless her heart) was an addict when I was in high school. And since our emotional language comes from our parents, whatever they're stuck on, we are as well. As a result I wasn't aware of mental health issues for a long time. As a kid, you compartmentalize. You think you deserve to be treated however you are...Being a child of an addict is a surefire way to have some anxiety or depression as you get older. " - Baron Vaughn 

3. On Positive Thinking

"I thought, 'I can't do comedy as a trans person..' Luckily I had a friend who was sending me links and telling me I had to come to New York to do it. So that was very helpful, to have people around me who are like 'It is possible, just don't lead with your apprehension. Don't lead with your egheghwheww. " - Patti Harrison

4. On Suicide

"If you look at the Venn diagram for people who have bipolar disorder, people who are addicts and alcoholics, and people who have tried to commit suicide, statistically you could have guessed...It would have been a pretty safe guess that I would have attempted suicide. " - Ana Marie Cox and John Moe

5. On Writing

"I've often thought of writing as that childhood pool game Marco Polo, but I'm in my basement for 4 or 5 years just saying "Marco, Marco, Marco" over and over again, waiting for that one person to say Polo back." - John Green

6. On Hiding

"I didn't tell anyone about the OCD thoughts until I was 35 because I felt so ashamed of what they were. But then I googled my thoughts and...turns out, OCD sites came up. That's why I love the internet. Anything you're worried about, you type it in and someone's already done it, they've written a book about it." - Maria Bamford

7. On Reckoning with Truth

"When my dad admitted he didn't love me, it actually made me feel better. It was both excruciating and liberating. It meant I wasn't crazy."  - Neal Brannon

8. On Dealing with Other People

"I'm a snob about depression. I think we are superior." - Jen Kirkman

9. On Anxiety and People Pleasing

"When I was around 12 or 13 years old, anxiety started for me. Attention became uncomfortable. I began to feel I wasn't doing things for myself as much as doing things other people expected me to do...For example, it was important to the adults in my life that I do teen magazines. I didn't want to do that. It felt like a distraction. I just wanted to make believe."  - Wil Wheaton

10. On Being Misperceived

"I was not an aggressive person. I didn't have that killer instinct. I was very timid. I just happened to be born into this was this 6 foot 6, 240-pound body. I was very athletic and I could run fast and jump high but my mental makeup was more like Richard Lewis." - Gary Gulman

Do you listen to Hilarious World of Depression? Did I miss one of your favorite moments? Let me know by commenting below!

Try: Hugging Away Holiday Stress

By Renee Pletka, Holistic Health + Eating Psychology Coach

While the holidays can bring abundant joy, they can also trigger tremendous stress.

Jam-packed stores, perfect-gift hunting, travel delays, overindulgence, kitchen bickering, family conflicts, unmet expectations and more all lead to stress, anxiety, tension and not-so-merry moods.

I have a foolproof remedy for busting holiday stress that's fast, easy and super-duper effective:

Hug it out.

That's right.

Hug. It. Out.

Instead of squabbling, snapping or snarling, give your partner, kiddo, sister, mom or brother-in-law a big ol' hug. Doing so will immediately dissolve any stress, tension, anxiety and grumpiness. 

Photo by Gus Moretta

In fact, hugging decreases cortisol (your fight-or-flight stress hormone), lowers blood pressure, and releases oxytocin (your bonding and trust-building hormone).

I've personally tested this stress buster numerous times and know firsthand that it truly works not only during the holidays, but every day of the year. 

Give it a whirl. You have nothing to lose, except your cranky pants!

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Try: New Breathing Techniques

Here are two breathing techniques I've been using lately. The first one is from Dr. Andrew Weil, it's simple, and it's easy to remember.

Here's Andrew Weil's 4-7-8 breathing method:

That's all you need to remember, actually. Breath for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, then breath out for a count of 8 to, in Weil's words, "reset your involuntary system."

I don't know if that's what's happening when I do the exercise, but I can say that every time I do it, I feel better.

The second technique is from a cult-like figure named Wim Hof.

Just Google his name and you will learn all about the cult surrounding him.

Here's Wim Hof's method, in brief:

• Take 30 breaths, ballooning your chest.

• Breathe in as much as you can, expanding your chest.

• Breathe out completely, drop your chin, and relax until you feel your reflex.

• Inhale again deeply and hold for 10 – 15 seconds.

• Repeat.

• Reserve five minutes at the end to scan your body.

Here it is in a little more detail, if needed. 

1. Get comfortable with legs crossed and prepare to warm up.

2. Inhale deeply until you feel some pressure in your chest. Hold your breath, then exhale, pushing out all of your air. Hold for 2 – 3 seconds.

3. Repeat warm-up 15 times.

4. Once you're warmed up, pretend to blow up a balloon by inhaling through your nose, exhaling through your mouth in short, powerful bursts with a steady pace. Repeat 30 times. If you get lightheaded, that's OK.

5. During your big breaths, focus on each part of your body. If you sense something that doesn’t feel quite right, release that part of the body.

6. After you’ve completed your 30 power breaths, inhale deeply and fill your lungs to capacity, then force the air out. Drop your chin and relax. Hold your breath out until you experience the gasp reflex. Then inhale normally.

7. Inhale again deeply. Release any tension in your chest and hold that breath in. Drop your chin to your chest and hold for 15 seconds. Scan your body again for anything that feels “off.”

8. Relax and scan your body.

I've been using the 4-7-8 breath at small random times, like on the subway or in a meeting. I use the Wim Hof method when I need a deeper "intervention" -- like if I'm overthinking something at bedtime or in the middle of the night. Give both a try. I would love to hear how it goes for you

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Riding the Wave: The Single Biggest Thing I've Learned About Anxiety

In July, 2015, I found out I had anxiety. It was like being handed the keys to my brain. Before that, I felt different than others, but wasn't sure why.

In the past year and a half, I've done a lot of digging and connecting. I've talked to others with anxiety. I've researched and talked to doctors. I've read many books. 

The single-most important thing I've learned: anxiety is a physiological response involving hormones released in the body.

Those hormones hit the system in a surge and draw back in time. They can come in one big cresting wave, or many mini waves, but they hit the body the same way a wave hits the beach.

This information has affected me deeply. When the hormones hit, I now ask myself: Can the beach fight the wave?

I know the answer: No.

I've also learned the shaky feeling many people experience after a stress response or panic attack is a sign of the hormone wave receding. It's actually a good thing! We often fear the strange shaky feeling. We should be looking forward its arrival. If we understand what the shakiness means, we can enjoy that another wave is over and our strength remains from our place on the beach.

Accepting the hormone release—navigating the triggers that set it in motion—is how I think of riding The Beautiful Voyager.

I'm not the only one to describe the wave. Barry McDonagh describes it this way in DARE:

Anxiety is nothing more than nervous energy in your body. This energy rises and falls just like waves on the ocean. Think of it as if you're bobbing around in the ocean and every now and then a wave rises up in front of you. When you resist the wave, it tosses you around and scares you, but when you move with it, you ride up and over it and eventually lose your fear of waves...Where you once resisted each and every sensation because your anxious mind thought it was the right thing to do, now you're learning to sit in friendly curiosity, allowing it to be without any desire to stop or control it. So every time you feel a wave of nervous energy, you can bob up and down with it as it rises and falls. 

Here's an incredible example from Dani Shapiro. She's writing about writing. Listen to the similarities: 

During the time devote to your writing, think of the surges of energy coursing through your body as waves. They will come, they will crash over you, and then they will go. You'll still be sitting there. Nothing terrible will have happened. Try not to run from the wave. If, at one moment, you are sitting quietly at your desk and then--fugue state alert--you are suddenly on your knees planting tulips, or perusing your favorite online shopping site, and you don't know how you got there, then the wave has won. We don't want the wave to win. We want to learn to recognize it, accept its power, and even learn to ride it. We want to learn to withstand those wild surges, because everything we need to know, everything valuable, is contained within them.

Responding to the hormone wave with curiosity, openness, and even excitement for the shakes has been my biggest learning to date.

I work so hard on this project. Sometimes I ask myself, "Why are you doing this?"

My answer: "This is how I learned about the wave. It's not how everyone does, but it's how I did. It's worth it."

Originally published Feb 08, 2016. Updated November 25, 2017.

Try to: Pick Up Some Drumsticks

I recently re-acquired my drum kit following my divorce. As a result, I got to play the drums for the first time in over fifteen months.  In doing so, I realized playing drums is an amazing way to help deal with depression.

When I played the drums I became so focused my mind was prevented from wandering and ruminating. I was in what is known in psychological terms as being in Present Moment Contact. This concept works in a similar way to mindfulness. I have discussed this concept in more detail in a previous article of mine entitled Under Pressure.

When it comes to depression, it's incredibly useful to find a coping/distraction technique that works for you. I know that even when a successful distraction technique is found, a person may not always be able to engage with it. Example: I am sitting next to my drum-kit right now, as I'm writing this. However at this specific moment I can't bring myself to play them, not right now. But the drum kit is always there. I know there will be times when I will play them and they will help me.

Finding a positive distraction technique helps. We all know there are plenty of maladaptive ways to cope with depression, masking the issue. At the same time, remember: not being able to find a positive distraction technique should not be seen as a failure.

I like these words said by Stephen Fry, the British comedian, actor, writer, presenter, and activist:

“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.”

Learn more about btg dad  at www.peacenospas.com. 

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Try: Big Group Meditation

Last week, I attended my first big group sound meditation event at famous Grace Cathedral here in San Francisco. Here's an excerpt from the official description of the event:

On October 23rd, 1300 of us will come together to resonate with peace and tranquility at the beautiful Grace Cathedral. This experience not only brings you to your deepest meditative state, but also ushers us closer as a community.

Led by Guy Douglas and featuring an array of amazing and talented musicians on gongs, crystal singing bowls, Tibetan singing bowls, Native American flutes, Didgeridoo, Celtic Harp, Monochord, Vibraphone and so much more.

Despite feeling weird about it, I Facebook Live'd the event so that others could see what it was like. Also, I wanted to force myself to do something that scared me. As a result, I have this video from the event itself: 

Here are my thoughts on big group sound meditation as an experiment in dealing with stress and anxiety:

• It was exciting to try something new and the setting was beautiful.

• The floor was HARD. I had to shift around a bunch to try to get comfortable.

• I wanted to feel more vibrations. Like in the pit of my stomach. I don't know if it's because of where we were sitting, but I didn't feel those.

• The best part was when there was a human voice in the mix.

• It was somewhat relaxing. I was also a bit hopped up from the excitement of the experience. 

• I would try it again. I bet different settings vary greatly.

I see that there is another big group sound meditation event happening in a few weeks at the San Francisco Conservatory of Flowers.

If this experiment works for you, hit the heart (no login required) to let others know they should give it a try!  

SOS! What’s Your Advice?

Sharing ideas helps others (and yourself) feel better.

Hello fellow Beautiful Voyagers,

November's here. Cue the start of the holidays and the pile-up of work at the office and school. It’s a moment when many of us are saying: “Hello, ol’ friend anxiety!”

As I mentioned in my intro letter, the Beautiful Voyager is introducing an advice column. Below is a question that’s been on my mind. (And many of yours, too, I'm sure!)

Please share a response or advice to this question. At the BV, we are all advice columnists! With your responses, I’ll be able to generate a list of insightful tips for our BV followers to refer to in these high-stress moments.

Question #1: First week of November 

I’ve been having trouble striking a balance between work and other projects with my social life. What are ways you approach anxiety management in high-stress times? How do you monitor your over-thinking and negative thoughts when papers and work from beloved professors and/or bosses are piling up? What do you do when suddenly, it seems as though deadlines are running a marathon right at you?

I would love to hear your thoughts on prioritizing and re-centering.

Please leave a response to the article. Looking forward to reading all the advice!

Warmest, 
Mohammedi

A Poem Illustrating My Experience with G.A.D.

Hi, I'm Melissa. I'm 22, a native of Chicago, a writer and a strong advocate for mental health, specifically G.A.D. and depression. This poem was inspired by the prose and style of poetry by Rupi Kaur and is dedicated with love, support, and solidarity with those who have or are learning to live with anxiety...just like me. Much thanks and love.

Read more of my work here. 

Maskara

it paints my lashes

black

to showcase them into the light

it lengthens their blonde edges

so my eyes can seem

open

awake

and here again

so that you’re distracted

by these long whimsical lashes

and unable to see behind them that

my right eye is

twitching

faster than the beat of my own heart

the twitch unapologetically takes host to my left eye

but this is one war when

changing sides

doesn’t make a difference

it paints my flushed cheeks

black

streaks them

with too many Mississippi rivers to count

drops of black leading the mouth of each river

over the hills of my cheek bones

down into the valley of my lips

to reveal the strength my mind has

over my body

over me

I can’t see out of my right eye

blurry

twitching again

faster than before

my favorite beauty product

it makes me feel beautiful

it’s all I need

and yet

I question every morning

is it even worth putting on

because I don’t know

if it will last until noon

they say

makeup can highlight

your best features

they don’t say

makeup can shine a spotlight

on the features

of your face

and hide

what’s stirring inside

behind it

- G.A.D.