3 Great Exercises for Mindful Movement

I think of Luis Rivera MS as my "anatomy guy." What the hell does that mean? It means that in the Beautiful Voyager Slack room, when there's a question about physiology, he is the one I turn to. He's got a Master of Science in Exercise and Rehabilitation Science and a whole lot more.

Luis also has a newsletter where he shares thoughts from his own coaching perspectives as well as basic mindfulness exercises like these. I asked Luis if he would mind if I shared these exercises with you, and he said,

"I hope folks find them beneficial as many are beginning to find the benefits of mindful movement."

That was very Luis of him.

Standing Praise Release

1. Stand nice and tall (If you can only sit, then sit nice and tall so your spine is as aligned as possible).

2. Slowly lift your hands in front of you as if they had balloons on the ends of the wrist (using as little force as possible).

3. Keep lifting your hands until they are directly vertical.
4. Once they are above your head turn your palms up.
5. Breathe deeply into your belly.
6. Repeat the breath 3-9 times.
7. Drop your hands by turning your palms to their original neutral position.
8. Float the hands back down slowly.
9. End your session.

"I use this every day. It is part of many qigong forms in many arts across the world, so I hope you benefit from it greatly." 

Hip Release

1. Stand with both feet about shoulder width apart.
2. Put both hands around the top of your hip bones. It's much higher on guys than women.
3. When you find the top of your hips relax your hands into your side.
4. Take a breathe and nice and let your shoulders relax.
5. Once you feel relaxed in that position, turn to the left without turning your legs. Use only the waist. Don't use your knees.
6. Breathe in and out as you face the left. As you take the next breath out, come back to the center standing neutral.
7. Do the same thing to the other side. Turn to the right side and breathe deeply, allowing the breath to come to the bottom areas of your lungs. On the last out breath turn back to your center.
8. Note: most folks find it easier to turn when they are breathing out, but try both to feel your muscles balance out the tension in your back.
9. If at anytime you feel dizzy with any movement please stop the exercise immediately.

Breathing exercise

1. Close your eyes.
2. Touch the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth.
3. Breathe in through your nose.
4. Fill your lungs. Let the air out your mouth.
5. Feel the air swirl as you repeat the process.
6. There is no force.
7. Just let the breathing settle into you.
8. Continue for 5 minutes.

"I want this exercise to remind people that their lives matter for more than just work and to survive."

Avoiding Risk is Risky

Black-and-White Risk tree, ready to be climbed.

Though We Don’t Think of It That Way

Mention the word risk in certain crowds and you’ll elicit bombastic responses like: “Without risk, and lots of it, you’ll never be successful. You gotta be at the table to win.” In this context risk is equated simply with “something that you might lose money on.”

It makes sense that we focus on external financial risk. Those results are easy to gauge: Payoff equals rising income. But what about internal risk? What about emotional or psychological fallout from paths not taken? We don’t talk about them as much, but these fallouts play a huge role in our lives. They affect our most important relationships — our friends, families, marriages, our selves.

I started a conversation on this topic yesterday on an app called Anchor. If you hit play below, you can hear stories of these types of risks:

“I’m a healthcare professional. I wanted to strike out on my own rather than work for the man (for lack of a better word). I can see how me being indecisive was harmful to my relationship. At the time, I thought ‘Let’s not take a risk to save my wife from worrying about me as my own boss.' That thinking actually harmed our relationship.”

“I was considering leaving a job I really loved. I'd been with this company for a really long time. I was considering leaving to join a startup. I thought to myself ‘Oh, this is risky. This is really risky.’ A good friend of mine convinced me it was just as risky to stay. He said even if it wasn’t a great job, I was potentially missing out on learning about a new career. About myself.”

Avoiding Risk

Some people think they can avoid risk altogether by just sticking with the status quo. Bad news! This type of non-decision decision can lead to less visible outcomes like anxiety and depression which, in turn, affect everything in our lives, including our relationships. We don’t talk about invisible emotional risks, but they are there with every choice we make. You don’t opt out of emotional risk just because it’s not as outwardly apparent as financial risk.

As an overthinker, I know how tempting it is to try to control outcome by seeing decisions from all sides. Please don’t confuse my invitation to look at the two sides of risk — rational and emotional — as an invitation to overthink.

Drumming up potential positive and negative consequences for big decisions is part of rational, external risk assessment. Often deciders lump emotional components in that assessment at the same time. To truly understand the emotional component of risk is to accept that it’s a bit trickier than that: it probably can’t be understood by thinking too much.

The Role of Intuition in Anticipating Emotional Risk

Risk tree in full color as seen on a wall of our house. Also goes by name of: Change Tree, Intuition Tree, or Luck Tree, depending on the season.

Remember your last big decision. Deep down, didn’t you know what you wanted to do? Much has been written about the wisdom of following gut feelings (Steve Jobs: “Intuition is more powerful than intellect”). To sort out the role of emotional risk, you have to take the time to check in with how you’re feeling.

Getting clear-eyed on risk means facing both rational and emotional risks. And let’s complicate this a bit further: there’s also a problem of lack of ultimate control. For overthinkers who want to understand all angles of a problem, this can be a particular challenge.

It’s Not All Up to You

Joining that startup could lead to a huge pay off. Staying at the well-funded enterprise company you’ve been at for years could turn out to be great. Luck will play a role in outcome. The best we can hope for is mapping our own rational and emotional risks with a clear head and heart.

Then we let go.

The Secret Handshake

This is not how it works.

What Is It, and How Does It Work?

Backstory: I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder seven months ago.  At the time, I didn't see it coming at all, but as soon as I heard the words, it made a lot of sense. I'd always felt out-of-step with the mainstream and cautious in a way others around me didn't. I was drawn to people who were open about their vulnerabilities and frailties. I loved the early work of Albert Brooks.

Does anything about this speak to you? hahahaha

Since learning that what I felt was called anxiety, the mountain of information I've had all of these years inside of me now has shape. It all makes a lot more sense.

Here's an example: For years, a friend of mine has asked how I manage to create fun group conversations at parties. 

Pre-diagnosis,  I buried this feeling so deeply I didn't even recognize It was there. I just invented coping techniques and got migraines.

I told her that I'd hunker down in a corner and look to see if anyone else is doing the same. I'd toss out random topics to that stranger. By doing this, it was easy to get into engaging, non-small-talk conversation that others, in turn, were drawn into. 

Pre-diagnosis, I had this information: "people want to talk, but they don't always want to talk in big groups. Sometimes it's more fun to do it off to the side, about random, small topics." I didn't know why it was the case, but I knew:  "The off-to-the-side people seem to be my people."

Now that I understand that I'm highly sensitive and experience anxiety, I've merged this new understanding into my approach to parties. I'll sometimes admit that I'm feeling stressed out to the person I'm talking to in some subtle way. If it makes sense, I'll even cop to some anxiety. This is me extending my hand for the secret handshake.

Here's the shocking part: 9 times out of 10, that person will admit that they, too, feel the same way. They respond with their own confessional acknowledgement, taking my hand for the other half of the secret handshake. We end up having even better conversations (and needing to drink less). I'm getting fewer migraines and making more and better connections with others using the secret handshake.

Does this happen because I have a special ability to nose out other beautiful voyagers? Not more than any of us do. I think all of us who are highly sensitive have access to the secret handshake. It's an incredibly powerful skill, and not just in the party setting. If you were to know that the person you were about to be interviewed by had experienced anxiety, as you do, don't you think it would help you perform more naturally in that interview? Being able to read people and understand where they're coming from is like having x-ray vision. But it comes at a cost. It starts with making yourself vulnerable.

Found a photo of Albert Brooks shaking hands...

The hardest part of the secret handshake is that you have to drop the first clue about yourself for the other person to pick up. But you will find that as you do it over time you're going to be shocked at the number of people in your life that experience similar things that you do. They just don't talk about it or may not even realize it, as I didn't. In the past seven months, I've had more people say to me, "Wow, I thought I was alone in this." Or "It was so great to meet you" in a more deeply genuine way than ever before. 

The secret handshake: another tool for the superhero arsenal. 

the lasso of truth