Explore how anxiety can show up in your life, work, and relationships
Read on
Try: Giving Your Inner Critic a Cookie
I was telling the brilliant minds of the Beautiful Voyager Slack group about how I stumble over certain kinds of small talk. One of members' great suggestions is this experiment. I'm going to try it when I feel the same thing come up the next time in small talk.
The Triggering Situation
You are asked a question, and for whatever reason it has you second-guessing yourself. Example:
RANDOM PERSON: "Hey, how's that new guitar-playing hobby going? Are you sticking with it?"
YOU (internally): Uh-oh. I'm not sure how to answer this. I haven't been practicing as much. I mean, I do still like the guitar but...
YOU (externally): "Yeah, mumble, good, mumble."
Enter the Cookie
This is where the experiment begins.
That first moment of internal angst? That's your critic talking to you. This is the moment you shove a cookie in the critic's mouth.
Here's how you do it.
RANDOM PERSON: "Hey, how's that new guitar-playing hobby going? Are you sticking with it?"
YOU (internally): Oh, hey critic. Yeah, I know we're still figuring out the whole guitar thing. Thank you for trying to help out and make me feel better, but I don't need you to protect me. Here you go. Please eat this cookie and sit down, critic. We'll talk later."
YOU (externally): "I love the guitar! Could always be practicing more."
My Slack group friend broke it down this way by saying that to deal with the critic, we need to:
acknowledge the good the critic brings
how does that make you feel
what do you NEED
make a critic request (The request can be...I need you to eat your cookie now, and we can talk later).
I'm gonna give this one a try and report back. You should too!
If this experiment works for you, hit the heart (no login required) to let others know they should give it a try!
Try: Having a Conversation Outside Your Comfort Zone
If you don't usually reveal much about how you're feeling, try sharing something. If you're an over-revealer, sit back and learn about something new. If you talk to hide discomfort, try being quiet to see what happens. If you hate talking....you get the picture.
Get over the initial discomfort. Break the action down into something super small...one small comfort zone step at a time.