What is Mindfulness? A 7-Year-Old Breaks It Down.

If you didn't totally understand it in the past, you might this time. 

Mindfulness is fun.

It is paying attention to the minute. Be aware of your feelings because if you are mad or sad you could act like hitting or yelling at he or she but if you take it

the drawing shows the problem--moments when you want to act out.

slow you will feel better. Just tell he or she or say please stop. A good way to do it is sitting down in a quiet spot and listen to what is around you.

Or other people want to act out.

Riddle. Mind full or mindful?

Note: the girl is thinking only of the moment, right there, walking the dog. The dog is also mindful, and only thinking of being walked.

But mindfulness is not just sitting. You could be mindful walking, eating, breathing, reading, or even playing! All you have to do to be mindful is pay attention to the minute.

Instructions. Pick from 1.

Find chocolate chips. Put them one at a time in your mouth. Let them melt in your mouth before you swallow.

Instructions.

Put glitter in a jar. Shake it up.

Pretend your mind is the glitter.

When it is crazy your mind is crazy.

Collect them all!

Books by Alice

All About Pets. All About Spatula Fights. All About Birds. All About Dogs and Cats. All About Ninjas. How to Make Friends.

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About the Author

Alice Arthur lives with her mom and dad in San Francisco, California. She loves to rock climb, dress up in costumes, and make funny faces.

Upping My Air Traffic Controller Game

Dear fellow BVs,

The familiar British voice of the meditation app I use reminds me:

Meditation works best when we focus on others, not ourselves. 

I’ve experienced it. Focusing on the emotional needs of my husband, daughter, friends, family, or coworkers helps me escape my own head and ultimately creates a positive feedback loop . 

But, but, but...

"Everyone I know has a big but. C'mon Simone, let's talk about your big but."

It’s a hell of a lot easier to focus on the needs of others from the comfortable perch of my meditation pillow than in the middle of the chaos of daily life. When the airplanes of my own thoughts are taking off alongside everyone else’s, air traffic control can become an issue.

Who's in charge here?

How I deal with it.

Because I have a tendency to get scattered when I’m in the air traffic control hot seat, I’ve learned that I need to clear the runway by slowing down my thoughts. I use tools like phone dictation or notepad in order to hold them for a more appropriate, clear-runway time. 

I don’t force out this newsletter in the middle of an air traffic jam. It needs to wait for a clear runway, too.

Like butter.

It's worth it, though.

It takes effort. But the effort pays off when I see my thought airplanes take off successfully and peacefully. More importantly, I see my conversations with others glide along in better, more helpful ways to happy destinations. 

Clearing the conversational runway helps you be a better friend, parent, and colleague. Who doesn’t want to be a hero?

I know I do,

Love, Meredith

Originally published in the Beautiful Voyager newsletter on April 3, 2017. Subscribe here.

All About Mindfulness

By Alice Arthur, age 7

Mindfulness is fun. It is paying attention to the minute. Be aware of your feelings because if you are mad or sad you could act like hitting or yelling at he or she but if you take it

pictured: the hitting person who isn’t aware of their feelings

slow you will feel better. Just tell he or she or say please stop. A good way to do it is sitting down in a quiet spot and listen to what is around you.

pictured: tears of telling someone to please stop, someone who is laughing

Riddle. Mind full or mindful?

But mindfulness is not just sitting. You could be mindful walking, eating, breathing, reading, or even playing! All you have to do to be mindful is pay attention to the minute.

pictured: girl and dog. girl is being mindful, aware of the moment she is in.

Instructions. Pick from 1.

Find chocolate chips. Put them 1 at a time in your mouth. Let them melt in your mouth before you swallow.

Instructions.

Put glitter in a jar. Shake it up. Pretend your mind is the glitter. When it is crazy your mind is crazy.

Collect them all!

Books by Alice

All About Pets. All About Spatula Fights. All About Birds. All About Dogs and Cats. All About Ninjas. How to Make Friends.

About the Author

Alice Arthur lives with her mom and dad in San Francisco, California. She loves to rock climb, dress up in costumes, and make funny faces.

3 Great Exercises for Mindful Movement

I think of Luis Rivera MS as my "anatomy guy." What the hell does that mean? It means that in the Beautiful Voyager Slack room, when there's a question about physiology, he is the one I turn to. He's got a Master of Science in Exercise and Rehabilitation Science and a whole lot more.

Luis also has a newsletter where he shares thoughts from his own coaching perspectives as well as basic mindfulness exercises like these. I asked Luis if he would mind if I shared these exercises with you, and he said,

"I hope folks find them beneficial as many are beginning to find the benefits of mindful movement."

That was very Luis of him.

Standing Praise Release

1. Stand nice and tall (If you can only sit, then sit nice and tall so your spine is as aligned as possible).

2. Slowly lift your hands in front of you as if they had balloons on the ends of the wrist (using as little force as possible).

3. Keep lifting your hands until they are directly vertical.
4. Once they are above your head turn your palms up.
5. Breathe deeply into your belly.
6. Repeat the breath 3-9 times.
7. Drop your hands by turning your palms to their original neutral position.
8. Float the hands back down slowly.
9. End your session.

"I use this every day. It is part of many qigong forms in many arts across the world, so I hope you benefit from it greatly." 

Hip Release

1. Stand with both feet about shoulder width apart.
2. Put both hands around the top of your hip bones. It's much higher on guys than women.
3. When you find the top of your hips relax your hands into your side.
4. Take a breathe and nice and let your shoulders relax.
5. Once you feel relaxed in that position, turn to the left without turning your legs. Use only the waist. Don't use your knees.
6. Breathe in and out as you face the left. As you take the next breath out, come back to the center standing neutral.
7. Do the same thing to the other side. Turn to the right side and breathe deeply, allowing the breath to come to the bottom areas of your lungs. On the last out breath turn back to your center.
8. Note: most folks find it easier to turn when they are breathing out, but try both to feel your muscles balance out the tension in your back.
9. If at anytime you feel dizzy with any movement please stop the exercise immediately.

Breathing exercise

1. Close your eyes.
2. Touch the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth.
3. Breathe in through your nose.
4. Fill your lungs. Let the air out your mouth.
5. Feel the air swirl as you repeat the process.
6. There is no force.
7. Just let the breathing settle into you.
8. Continue for 5 minutes.

"I want this exercise to remind people that their lives matter for more than just work and to survive."

Feelings Come and Go

Sonia Evers of The Not Vanilla has written a great piece about a specific form of anxiety-targeted mindfulness meditation for Refinery29. The whole piece is really worth reading, but here are some of the key takeaways that make the piece stand out.

According to Harvard psychotherapist Ronald D. Siegel, PsyD, trying to get rid of anxiety is exactly where I, and many others suffering from it, go wrong. In his mindfulness meditation practice, Stepping into Fear, Dr. Siegel encourages his students to turn their attention toward, and even befriend, their anxiety, rather than resist it and try to make it go away...[It] begins like any other meditation, focusing on the breath and quieting the mind. But it quickly takes a turn when Dr. Siegel asks you, the listener, to think of something that makes them anxious. Once you have a clear idea of what that is, he asks you to increase your anxiety by thinking of a scenario that’s even worse. After that, a scenario even worse. This goes on for about 20 minutes, until he brings the focus back to the breath and the body. The theory behind it is that the more comfortable we get with the sensations that come with anxiety — panic, fear, and accelerated heartbeat — the more we will discover that the emotions associated with these sensations come and go, like everything else.  

This is definitely in keeping with Barry McDonagh's DARE approach, and it's something I ascribe to as well. Getting our bodies accustomed to the physical sensations of anxiety--the cortisol and adrenaline pumping through our systems--while allowing our minds to understand that the wave will pass is core to recovery.

Feel the surge. Use the surge.

I loved that Sonia said: 

Over the course of the 20-minute meditation, which brought forth everything from increased heart rate to full blown tears, I discovered that my mind actually started to wander away from the things that I’m constantly anxious or worried about. And unlike in other meditations, where a distracted mind is something to combat, this mental meandering was a breath of relief that not only informed me that anxiety passes, but that whatever I am afraid of or avoiding is only as big a deal as I make it. It’s here now, but it’s just as likely to be gone in a moment.

This is understanding the wave. Once you see that the wave will pass, the next time it hits, you are more likely to be able to move with it.

Sonia's final words are powerful, and so, so true:

Breathe into  it.  it'll make you feel better.