A Beginner's Guide to Generalized Anxiety Disorder

At first, it can be hard to even recognize what forward movement even looks like.

When I was first diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I went searching high and low for a guide that would help me understand what I needed to know about what that meant and what I should do. It was a very confusing time. I googled like crazy, but found nearly nothing online that informed me in a real, useful way. This was way back in 2015, and at the time there was much less than there even is now. Many "guides" used the word worry repeatedly. Worry wasn’t what I did or how I identified. Overthinking, yes. Worry, no.

Then I read a quote from the tennis player Mardy Fish that captured my experience of anxiety in vivid detail. He says: “I wish I had been able to tell myself that I was doing great. But my frame of mind back then couldn't process great. All I could focus on was doing better.”

This short guide is meant to help people who, like me at the time, are just beginning their journey with GAD. If you find yourself googling like crazy and not being able to find answers to your questions: Welcome, kindred soul.

Q. What is Generalized Anxiety Disorder, exactly?

A. If you've already been researching this, you know that GAD is often described as a psychological disorder characterized by excess “worry” particularly about work, finances, and relationships. That's now how it felt to me. I've noticed that often people with GAD don't realize they have it for a long time in part because they don't think of themselves as worriers.

You might hear that GAD means you worry about worry. If you don’t even consider what you're experiencing as worry, that bit of information doesn’t help. And if you are so habituated to pushing away the worry as a coping mechanism, then descriptions like that will lead to a vicious avoidance cycle.

For me, having GAD means that I tended to overthink nearly everything, meticulously trying to figure it all out. When problem arose, I’d write them down and begin my crazed attack in every direction. More noticeably, it also meant crippling shoulder and neck pain and nausea, especially on buses. I used to get dizzy  at times, almost to the point of fainting. The physical symptoms are important: this is what can help you get diagnosed faster. Don't ignore them! 

Q. Can a person have GAD and not know it?

A. It's more common than not that people who have GAD see many doctors before they get properly diagnosed. Gastroenterologists, chiropractors, neurologists, acupuncturists, and gynecologists are some of the people Gaddies might visit on the path to diagnosis.

Q. Is GAD hereditary?

A. Yes, there is a genetic component, but as is often the case, that’s only one part of the equation. Genetic roots and predisposition to anxiety disorders can be triggered by environmental factors. The death of a loved one, divorce, the sudden loss of a job or your house, or a big change in circumstance can bring on episodic fare-up of GAD.

Q: If GAD flares up, does that mean it’s dormant at other times?

A: Even if you're predisposed to GAD, with proper treatment, you can bring your symptoms into check. Since you are predisposed to this condition, when things happen to you, you will be more likely to have bigger anxiety responses than other people. 

Q. How messed up is someone with GAD, exactly? Please be specific.

A. It depends on the person. My GAD makes me aware and worried about silly stuff like taking out the garbage. My family teases me about my absurd fear that if I miss taking out the garbage, our house will be overtaken with garbage. It makes me laugh, but the laughing doesn't stop my anxiety symptoms from coming around every Sunday.

Or this example from years ago, when a few ants were coming through our bathroom window. My response was immediate: "Let's replace the window." It didn't matter that we couldn't afford it. I just wanted the stress to go away. And why was there stress? It was because I didn't see the few ants on the floor. I saw an inevitable 100–200 ants that I imagined would invade and carry off our house.

It’s very hard to be in the here and now when catastrophizing. (Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion. Learning to recognize cognitive distortions is one important element of cognitive behavioral therapy, the best method for treating GAD.)

A neighbor put it well when he said: “I realized that I did everything in a rush—even simple things like brushing my teeth or making coffee. Eighty percent of what I do on a typical day does not require hurrying and rushing. That rushing creates a lot of stress throughout the day.” I know exactly what he means. I sometimes have the feeling that if I don’t get a certain small household task done at any given moment, the world might end.

Gaddies are not known for their patience.

Q. If I have GAD, how do I make it go away? Does it last forever?

A. Learning to ride the wave is a great place to start. When stressful things happen, you can expect to feel your own particular gremlin poke his head out of the wave’s crest. Knowing what to do with him and that I’ve survived his visits before helps a lot. Here's some more information about whether generalized anxiety goes away.

My own personal trifecta of how to settle the wave is: Meditation. Medication. Communication. Of course, each person has different needs and a different approach. The way to figure out what works is to experiment.

Q. Can anyone develop GAD? What’s the line between having it and just being a regular stressed out American?

A. The difference between regular anxiety, stress, and GAD comes down to degree. Most people with everyday stress and anxiety aren’t fainting or getting up in the middle of the night. They don’t need neck rubs every day. And they aren’t negatively predicting the outcomes of regular social interactions in a way that adds extra stress to daily life.

A fellow Beautiful Voyager described it this way: “I tend to project into the future all the time. I’m often planning how to deal with some negative turn of events that might happen in the future. Most likely never will. So I’m worrying in the present about something that will never happen in the future.”

If his experience sounds familiar, you might want to keep reading about Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

Q. Is GAD what has been wrong with me?

A. If what you're reading here rings that inner bell of familiarity, you might want to pick up the book The Worry Cure. Don’t think about the title too much. Just investigate your physical symptoms through the lens of your thoughts paying attention to whether what this book has to say relates to you. If it doesn't, then it's likely not GAD that's been bothering you.

Q. Will I ever feel better if I have GAD?

A. I believe that you can feel better if you have GAD. Simply the fact that you're reading this now means that you're on the path.

Q. How do you know?

A. Times are changing. People are talking openly about depression, anxiety, and other forms of mental suffering in a way that they never did when I was younger. The more people speak openly about the spectrum of mental conditions, the more they can be helped earlier on.

Q: What should I do if I’m a friend or family member of a Gaddie?

A: I feel for you. It’s not easy to deal with an anxious person, especially at the high pitch levels that people with GAD specialize in. It’s hard to avoid the role of friend-therapist. You might find yourself talking your friend down and trying to give them a more realistic view of their surroundings. The goal is to help them build those muscles for themselves without exhausting yourself. Bottom line: put the oxygen mask on yourself first.

On the other hand, GAD often presents as perfectionism or invulnerability, so it can be confusing. How do you help someone who doesn’t seem to need help? By tuning in to your instincts. Is the person talking super fast? Are they in a lot of physical pain? If so, they may need to help to learn a new way of thinking about the world around them/

You can gently encourage them to stay grounded in the moment. Send them a link to this piece. Do it with love.

How to Avoid Emotional Eating

Emotional eating's the tendency to respond to stressful, difficult feelings by eating.

We all love to eat because food tastes good and it is satisfying. We can name our favorite home cooked meals as well as favorite restaurant food.  We often eat to celebrate, while watching a movie, for a reward, when we are bored or tired, and of course when we are hungry.  When friends or family get together it is often centered around eating.

Emotional eating is the tendency to respond to stressful, difficult feelings by eating, even when not experiencing physical hunger. Emotional eating (or emotional hunger) is often a craving for high-calorie or high-carbohydrate foods that have minimal nutritional value.  The foods that emotional eaters crave are often referred to as comfort foods, like ice cream, cookies, French fries, and pizza.

About 40% of people eat when they are feeling stressed. Consequently, stress can be associated with weight gain.  Emotional eating is common and significant because it can interfere with maintaining a healthy diet and contribute to obesity.

A combination of factors that create stress can result in emotional eating. When our body is under stress, the stress hormone cortisol triggers the body’s “fight or flight” response, which increases heart and breathing rate and blood flow to muscles. This response increases our appetite to give the body the fuel it needs to fight or flee.  The higher the stress the higher levels of cortisol.  The usual cravings are for comfort foods.

5 Ways to Manage the Stress That Leads to Emotional eating

1. Regular exercise and activity lowers the production of stress chemicals, which leads to a decrease in depression, anxiety and insomnia.

2. Engaging in prayer, meditation and relaxation is a powerful way to manage stress, lower blood pressure, and heart rate.

3.  Refraining from drug use and high levels of alcohol is important.  Many of these substances heighten the body’s response to stress and lower our ability to deal with a stressful situation effectively.
4. Be careful to allow yourself breaks in the day.  Refrain from over-scheduling yourself.
5. Learn how to re-frame your thoughts or respond differently to stressful life events with help from a counselor, pastor or group therapy.

The prevention of emotional eating primarily involves reducing stress, using constructive ways to understand and manage our thoughts and emotions, and by using food as sustenance rather than a way to solve or avoid problems.

Kathy Foust runs Lighthouse Counseling Services in Findley, Ohio.

How to Work Through the Pain of Divorce

When you get married, you don't want to believe that your marriage could be part of the 50% that don't make it for whatever reason. (Topping the list of the reasons people get divorced is financial issues, poor communication and infidelity. On that same list: alcohol abuse, domestic violence, sexual problems, incompatibility and basic unhappiness). If your issues are dealt with soon enough, there may be hope for the marriage, but sadly that doesn't always happen. It's a very alarming moment when you realiz that your marriage is going to fail.

Grieving is pain with a purpose. 

Divorce may solve one problem, but it brings with it a new set of challenges, especially when there are children involved. When divorce occurs, it brings with it many levels of emotions which is normal. We can expect to feel anger, bitterness, betrayal, shame, embarrassment, loneliness, abandonment, fear and confusion. It is important to own these feelings and work through them.

Understanding the Pain of Divorce

Divorce can be compared to a death. It is important to acknowledge the reality that the marital relationship has died. The way to deal with this emotional stage is to go through the grief process, which is the same process of bereavement used for an actual death. There are five stages to work through, however, they are not necessarily felt in the order listed.

Denial   

Often the actual problems in the marriage have been denied and ownership has not been taken. It is easier to deny or overlook the real issues.

Anger

This response is important as it signals the fact that the person who has been divorced has accepted the reality and significance of what has happened. Confronting the reality of divorce is a painful experience but is essential if we are going to move forward with life and let go of the past.

Bargaining

We don’t bargain only with our spouses, we also bargain with God. We might say to ourselves, "I tell God if he will help me through this, I will dedicate my life and my marriage to him." This is a natural part of dealing with a crisis. We're trying to gain some control in an out-of-control situation.

Depression

What happens when we finally realize we can’t bargain our way back to the blissful marriage we once had?  Some go back to denial or anger, but many move on to depression.  They hit rock bottom. As painful as depression is, it is a very important stage of grief.  We can’t heal if we don’t feel.

Acceptance

It’s easier said than done. Grieving is pain with a purpose.  The purpose is healing and strength. When we can finally take the responsibility for our healing and make positive health choices, we are on our way to accepting the divorce. We realize we never wanted to be in this situation but are ready to move in a positive direction and make the most of our life as a divorced person.

It takes time.

No two people will grieve exactly the same way. The key to recovery is in making wise decisions now about how we are going to live and what we are going to believe about ourselves.

Kathy Foust runs Lighthouse Counseling Services in Findley, Ohio.

What Are Automatic Negative Thoughts?

Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) is a way of thinking which all of us on occasion get caught in.  Aaron Beck, one of the founders of cognitive therapy, concluded that automatic negative thinking sabotages our best self and lead to a vicious circle of misery. How it feels: We get stuck in the same negative thoughts over and over.  Because of our brain’s plasticity, we can create new pathways for our new and changed thoughts to travel.

Our emotions are a response to the thoughts we have.  A negative thought will be followed by a negative emotion, and a positive thought will be followed by a positive emotion. It can be difficult to control our emotions however we can learn to change and control our thoughts. The first step is to become aware of our negative thoughts.

The following are some of the most common examples of automatic negative thoughts.

• Fortune Telling: We are predicting that something bad will happen, such as failing school, losing our job, or getting seriously ill. Fortune telling is the basis of much of our anxiety and worry.
• Catastrophic Thinking: This is similar to fortune telling, however not only will the bad thing happen but the consequence will be terrible. Minor setbacks or failures are believed to be more serious than they are, which leads to serious anxiety.
• Mind Reading:  We assume people are having negative thoughts about us. At a party, I may believe people don’t like me.   Mind reading is a cause of social anxiety.
• All or None Thinking:  We think in rigid, black or white categories.  If we don’t score 100 on the test, we feel like a complete failure.  If someone doesn’t like something about me, they dislike everything about me. This can lead to perfectionism and low self-esteem.
• Overgeneralizations:  One or two events make us believe that something is “always” or “never” true, such as “nothing ever works out for me.”  “I’m always messing up.”  This can lead to discouragement and low self-esteem.

After we have become aware and can identify our negative thinking by name, we can begin the process of change.  Try to stop your negative thinking and change the thought to a positive and true statement.  The next time you assume that people don’t like you, say to yourself, “I was just mind reading and I have no proof my thoughts are true.”  Changing automatic negative thinking is possible when we decide to make a change, by increasing our awareness.

The 2018 Guide to Best Weighted Blankets for Better Sleep, Stress, and Anxiety

Do you like it when your dentist throws that heavy lead blanket on you for xrays? 

If you do, it might be because weighted blankets release a flood of "good-feeling" hormones into your body (these are similar to the hormones you feel when you're hugged or held). Weighted blankets promote the release of serotonin, melatonin, lowering nighttime cortisol levels. This updated guide can help you find the right weighted blanket. That's the goal.

The History of Weighted Blankets

Weighted blankets Have been around for a couple of decades now. They're not new to the medical community, who has recommended them for everything from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to Autism Spectrum Disorder as well as Anxiety and Insomnia. It's only in the past few years, though, that weighted blankets have become more mainstream. These days, you're hearing about them all over the place. 

I wanted to gather together a semi-comprehensive guide to weighted blankets in order to help other people who are looking for the right fit. 

The Best Brands Making Weighted Blankets

When it comes to weighted blankets, each brand seems to be known for something different. This guide will dig into pricepoint, brand, and reputation. I hope this helps you find a weighted blanket that works for you.

1. The American-Made Custom Weighted Blanket, $170 (depends on size)

Since this American-made weighted blanket helps supports the Beautiful Voyager community, we're biased and think it is the best one!

2. Tennessee-Based Family Business Weighting Comforts, $195+

Weighting Comforts is run by a mother-son duo in Nashville, Tennessee. I found out about their company when they reached out after seeing last year's weighted blanket post. I liked hearing about how they employee six women through the Sew for Hope organization (a very cool nonprofit organization providing sewing machines and sewing classes for international refugees who have resettled in Middle Tennessee). 

3. The Brookstone Blanket from Bed, Bath and Beyond, $150 online

The Brookstone Weighted Blanket was one of the original blankets more widely sold to the general public, opening up the category for other brands to follow. It is not customized to a specific body type, and the description says, "Suitable for anyone weighing 20 lb. and over."

4. The Kickstarter-Funded Weighted Blanket from Gravity, $250 and up

This Gravity blanket really turned heads when it launched, raising over $3M on the Kickstarter campaign. It's also come with its fair share of controversy when the FDA cracked down on its claims.

5. Mosaic Weighted Blanket, $145 (depends on size)

I found out about Mosaic Weighted Blankets from a comment left on our 2017 weighted blanket post. This is an organic blanket and seems well-made, with many color and fabric choices..

6. Canadian-Based Company Hippo Hug, $135

The people behind Hippo Hug reached out on our 2017 Weighted Blanket Guide, sharing that their blankets can be customized to different weights and fabrics. The Hippo Hug blankets are quilted and are made by sewing two layers of batting together to create channels. Individual weights are then dropped into the channels and seams are sewn in the opposite direction. 

How Weighted Blankets Should Fit

Each brand of weighted blanket deals with fit in a different way. The Gravity blanket, for example, has 3 different sizes (small, medium, large basically). The weighted blanket we sell on the Beautiful Voyager marketplace is a little more granular. Here's the ratio we used to determine the correct weight: 10% of your body weight plus two or three pounds. You just input your body weight, and we do the rest.

This is a really important thing to understand: Weighted blankets are supposed to fit your body, not the bed. The blanket lays on top of the bed without hanging over the sides. If it does hang over the sides, you'll likely spend the entire night fighting to keep it from sliding into the floor. Who wants that?

We would love to know about your own experiences with weighted blankets.  Help other people learn from your experiences!

Please help us keep this guide up to date by sharing a comment.