How I Manage My Compulsive Overthinking
Photo by Talles Alves on Unsplash
At some point or another, we all encounter things that throw us a little off course. It could be something as small as what to say when it is our turn to speak, or as big as a major impending life decision or hardship in our personal lives. Some people handle these with ease (or so they make it seem!), while others can’t help but heavily fixate on these issues.
Biological, social, and circumstantial experiences affect our mental health and well-being through their impact on how we interpret the world. Overthinking boils down to our perception of what we experience.
Think of our perception and interpretation like a tolerance level.
We all have varying levels of what we “can or can’t” handle, how we interpret and respond to stimuli, and how intensely we are affected by our experiences. Your mileage may vary.
I believe that overthinking happens to those of us who think very carefully about how we navigate and interact with the world. We are hyper-aware, which is good and bad for different reasons. Some of us pay so much attention to the finest of specifics that our brain never seems to rest. You could be walking in a large crowded space and feel as though you must plan out which way you will cross paths to get past someone — to the left or right of them? You might plan out how you’re going to ask someone where the restroom is, so you don’t end up fumbling over your words and saying something embarrassing. You might not get up to go to the bathroom during a meeting because you don’t want eyes to be drawn to you as you get up to leave the room. Overthinking can become so manifested in our everyday background thoughts that we might not even realize how much it’s consuming us.
Sometimes I won’t even know how to relay the process of my thoughts to someone else because I realize how anxious I sound. I don’t want them to catch on to my overthinking habits. I don’t want to present myself as anything but normal to people I don’t know.
Managing Compulsive Overthinking
There are two distinct components to overthinking: ruminating and worrying.
Ruminating is fixating on what we have done in the past, often wishing we had said or done something differently. You’ve probably been in a situation where you were caught off guard by a rude comment, thinking “if only I had said x to them instead of y!”
Worrying involves future tense, where we are often negatively predicting or considering what will happen in the future. “What if I go blank during my speech? What will I do if that happens? How will I recover from that?”
If you’re a compulsive over-thinker like me, you are probably very familiar with both of these predicaments. And surely, you would like to know how you can manage these tendencies.
Awareness, Problem Solving, and Keeping Busy
These components, in order, are key to working to negate the sometimes all-consuming complications of overthinking.
Awareness: Trying to avoid, ignore, or bottle up feelings can backfire if this is your go-to coping tendency. Acknowledge what is bothering you and pay attention to your thoughts in response to this. This is especially necessary if you feel like several major things are coming down on you at once. If you recognize each event or issue that is bothering you, you can better organize your thoughts and prepare for the steps you might want to take to either tackling or moving past the problem(s).
Problem Solving: For larger predicaments, evaluate whether or not there is a solution to the problem. If there is, great! Go investigate which solution will have the best outcome that reaps the highest benefit with the lowest cost. When it comes to smaller, everyday predicaments like when to do laundry (or even whether or not you should go to the bathroom in a meeting like I mentioned earlier!), give yourself 30 seconds to make a decision. Recognize that these decisions do not require especially careful thought, so aim to come to a conclusion on them right away.
Keeping Busy: If there is not a clear solution or the problem is not something you can do anything about, I like to remember the metaphor “change the channel in your head.” While I am NOT implying that it is as simple as “just stop thinking about it,” (in fact I can’t help but internally roll my eyes when told this) it makes a difference when you associate a visual example with your goal, like changing the channel. Along with this, keeping yourself busy with meaningful activities you care about assists in less fixation on a problem you have no control over. Having positive activities and memories on your mind will help even out the good/bad thought ratio.
Implications of Overthinking
It is important to note that overthinking in and of itself has varying levels of intensity and does not always indicate a mental disorder at play. Though, those with anxiety disorders may be especially susceptible to these thought patterns. It’s normal for many people to think about what they’ll say before a meeting with their boss, for example. But what isn’t so conducive is analyzing and overthinking every little movement we make. Each step onto the next stepping stone should not be so perfectly rehearsed that it is all we think about.
Are you an overthinker? Do you tend to ruminate or worry more? Share in the comments below.
Alexa Davis is a psychology student specializing in neuroscience. Her goal is to share her knowledge about the ever-fascinating nature of human behavior.