I’ve had this nauseated black hole feeling in the pit of my stomach.
It’s coincided with looking down at my belly and saying “Oh hey, you again. I really wish you didn’t look like that.”
Tonight I decided to turn it around. And I don’t mean panic-embarking on 2:55 AM workout session. I realize that for the last couple of months, I’ve been fixating on the middle third of my body, ramping up the internal fight. No more. It’s time for a truce.
Making friends…with a part of your body.
How do you make friends with a body part? It starts with sending mental love beams down into the black hole. You follow behind, wading into the darkest fear, peering around. Your eyes adjust to the darkness, and you realize, “Fuck it, this isn’t so bad. Is that a moonbeam I see over there?”
There are answers in there. This is where the fear lives. There's a reason it's as dark and hidden as it is. The only way to get to the answers is to use the love beam flashlight in my pocket.
If you're reading this, and you have no clue what I'm talking about, let me say this in a different way. Have you ever gone swimming and allowed yourself to zone out? Did you find that something new popped into your mind that surprised you? Or have you ever meditated and had new piece of information bubble up? Spelunking comes in lots of different forms.
Remembering that I can conjure up a flashlight whenever I need it is one way I stop fighting and start getting ready to find answers.