Try: Giving Your Inner Critic a Cookie

critic chocolate chip cookie

I was telling the brilliant minds of the Beautiful Voyager Slack group about how I stumble over certain kinds of small talk. One of members' great suggestions is this experiment. I'm going to try it when I feel the same thing come up the next time in small talk.

The Triggering Situation

You are asked a question, and for whatever reason it has you second-guessing yourself. Example:

RANDOM PERSON: "Hey, how's that new guitar-playing hobby going? Are you sticking with it?"

YOU (internally): Uh-oh. I'm not sure how to answer this. I haven't been practicing as much. I mean, I do still like the guitar but...

YOU (externally): "Yeah, mumble, good, mumble."

Enter the Cookie

This is where the experiment begins.

chocolate chip cookie

That first moment of internal angst? That's your critic talking to you. This is the moment you shove a cookie in the critic's mouth.

Here's how you do it.

RANDOM PERSON: "Hey, how's that new guitar-playing hobby going? Are you sticking with it?"

YOU (internally): Oh, hey critic. Yeah, I know we're still figuring out the whole guitar thing. Thank you for trying to help out and make me feel better, but I don't need you to protect me. Here you go. Please eat this cookie and sit down, critic. We'll talk later."

YOU (externally): "I love the guitar! Could always be practicing more."

My Slack group friend broke it down this way by saying that to deal with the critic, we need to:

  • acknowledge the good the critic brings

  • how does that make you feel

  • what do you NEED

  • make a critic request (The request can be...I need you to eat your cookie now, and we can talk later).

I'm gonna give this one a try and report back. You should too!

If this experiment works for you, hit the heart (no login required) to let others know they should give it a try!

Try: Having a Conversation Outside Your Comfort Zone

I'd rather text too, btw. Always. Maybe text to hang out, then try the comfort zone convo?

I'd rather text too, btw. Always. Maybe text to hang out, then try the comfort zone convo?

If you don't usually reveal much about how you're feeling, try sharing something. If you're an over-revealer, sit back and learn about something new. If you talk to hide discomfort, try being quiet to see what happens. If you hate talking....you get the picture.

Get over the initial discomfort. Break the action down into something super small...one small comfort zone step at a time. 

If this experiment works for you, hit the heart to let others know they should give it a try!